Correction/lettre motivation

Correction/lettre motivation
Message de barboustache posté le 06-12-2017 à 19:45:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je dois faire une lettre de motivation en anglais, pourriez-vous me corriger s'il vous plait ? Il y a certainement beaucoup d'erreurs.
Merci !!

Sir, I afford myself to submit my application for a job as surface technician or dishwasher.
After obtaining my scientific bac in France, I would like to work in England within your company to improve my professional experience and my level of English. It is very important for me to progress in the language to continue my studies as an airline pilot
I am a volunteer, very motivated to porgress and reach my goal.
Please find enclose my Curriculum Vitae which will give you full details.
I remain at your entire disposition for any further information.
Yours sincerely


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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-12-2017 21:31

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Réponse : Correction/lettre motivation de here4u, postée le 06-12-2017 à 23:20:00 (S | E)
Hello !

Sir,(un peu sec !)
I afford myself(pas du tout ici ...) to submit my application for a job as X surface technician or dishwasher.
After obtaining my scientific bac (won't be clear enough... give equivalents...)in France, I would like to work in England within your company to improve my professional experience and my level of English. It is very important for me to progress in the language to continue my studies as an airline pilot.
I am a volunteer(ici, il faut un adjectif !), very motivated to porgress and reach my goal.
Please find enclose my Curriculum Vitae which will give you full details.
I remain at your entire disposition for any further information.
Yours sincerely,

Une lettre de motivation doit montrer ce que vous allez apporter à l'entreprise !(sinon, on n'a pas envie de vous donner votre chance !)

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