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Message de ana24 posté le 12-05-2018 à 17:19:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
Si vous avez le temps de repérer mes fautes dans cet écrit, ce serait super
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide.
Your class has watched a television programme on the reasons why many young people choose to live in cities. You have made the notes below:
-> work
-> education
--> culture
Write an essay discussing two of the factors in your notes which influence why many young people choose to live in cities. You should identify which factor you think is more significant, providing reasons to support your opinion.
Nowadays, a huge majority of young people take the plunge and move out towards a more frenetic place ;the city. The purpose of this essay is to discuss two factors that might influence them greatly to leave the countryside and identify the one that perhaps weigh more in this decision.
Firstly, cities offer a wide range of exciting and stimulating activities, especially in the realm of arts. Cities provide young people with many galleries and museums, displaying beautiful artefacts and international pieces of art that usually happen to be seen only in metropolis. Besides, cities are often more vibrant with a large nighlife and promote hidden gems, given them the chance to express their cultural talent on stage. In a word, cities appeal to young people as they are an excellent incentive to broaden their mind with cultural and social activities .
Yet, culture is not the only reason. It is usually far more easier to find a job in the cities. Likewise, the city appears to be the perfect spot for those working in hospitality as it hosts a wide array of restaurants and cafés. Then, it seems easier to live closer from the workplace than far away from it. However, many people are working in the city but prefer living in the outskirts of it or even if the countryside, allowing them to relax and unwind in the nature.
From my point of view, I believe that culture is the most influential factor when it comes to decide wherabout people want to live. Enjoying living in the cities means enjoying the hustle and bustle of animated streets at the expense of more tranquility and larger spaces. While living in the city has downsides such as noise or pollution, it gives young people the opportunity to take part into cultural activities, social events and extend their culture.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 12-05-2018 18:40
Message de ana24 posté le 12-05-2018 à 17:19:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
Si vous avez le temps de repérer mes fautes dans cet écrit, ce serait super
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide.
Your class has watched a television programme on the reasons why many young people choose to live in cities. You have made the notes below:
-> work
-> education
--> culture
Write an essay discussing two of the factors in your notes which influence why many young people choose to live in cities. You should identify which factor you think is more significant, providing reasons to support your opinion.
Nowadays, a huge majority of young people take the plunge and move out towards a more frenetic place ;the city. The purpose of this essay is to discuss two factors that might influence them greatly to leave the countryside and identify the one that perhaps weigh more in this decision.
Firstly, cities offer a wide range of exciting and stimulating activities, especially in the realm of arts. Cities provide young people with many galleries and museums, displaying beautiful artefacts and international pieces of art that usually happen to be seen only in metropolis. Besides, cities are often more vibrant with a large nighlife and promote hidden gems, given them the chance to express their cultural talent on stage. In a word, cities appeal to young people as they are an excellent incentive to broaden their mind with cultural and social activities .
Yet, culture is not the only reason. It is usually far more easier to find a job in the cities. Likewise, the city appears to be the perfect spot for those working in hospitality as it hosts a wide array of restaurants and cafés. Then, it seems easier to live closer from the workplace than far away from it. However, many people are working in the city but prefer living in the outskirts of it or even if the countryside, allowing them to relax and unwind in the nature.
From my point of view, I believe that culture is the most influential factor when it comes to decide wherabout people want to live. Enjoying living in the cities means enjoying the hustle and bustle of animated streets at the expense of more tranquility and larger spaces. While living in the city has downsides such as noise or pollution, it gives young people the opportunity to take part into cultural activities, social events and extend their culture.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 12-05-2018 18:40
Réponse : Living in city/aide de jade77, postée le 13-05-2018 à 12:14:13 (S | E)
Hi Ana,
- Cities provide young people with many galleries and museums ...(provide something for someone)
- given ...(a gerund not a past participle)
- prefer living...(prefer+infinitive not gerund)
- even if the countryside...(if is wrongly placed here)
-wherabout...(spelling error)
Réponse : Living in city/aide de ana24, postée le 13-05-2018 à 21:12:37 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup jade77
Oui j'ai fait une faute de frappe pour le even if, je voulais écrire " even in the countryside"
Bonne soirée
Ana
Réponse : Living in city/aide de here4u, postée le 13-05-2018 à 21:35:58 (S | E)
Hello!
Nowadays, a huge majority of young people take the plunge and move out towards a more frenetic place ;= : the city. The purpose of this essay is to discuss two factors that might influence them greatly to leave the countryside and identify the one that perhaps weigh more in this decision.
Firstly, cities offer a wide range of exciting and stimulating activities, especially in the realm of arts. Cities provide young people with many galleries and museums, displaying beautiful artefacts and international pieces of art that usually happen to be seen only in A metropolis. Besides, cities are often more vibrant with a large nighlife and promote hidden gems, given them the chance to express their cultural talent on stage. In a word, cities appeal to young people as they are an excellent incentive to broaden their mindS with cultural and social activities .
Yet, culture is not the only reason why what?). It is usually far more easier(ARGHHH!
) to find a job in the cities. Likewise, the city appears to be the perfect spot for those working in hospitality (not clear at all!) as it hosts a wide array of restaurants and cafés. Then, it seems easier to live closer from the workplace than far away from it. However, many people are working in the city but prefer living in the outskirts of it or even if the countryside, allowing them to relax and unwind in the nature. From my point of view, I believe that culture is the most influential factor when it comes to decide(when it comes to + ING!) wherabout people want to live. Enjoying living in the cities means enjoying the hustle and bustle of animated streets at the expense of more tranquility and larger spaces. While living in the city has downsides such as noise or pollution, it gives young people the opportunity to take part into cultural activities, social events and extend their culture.
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