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Message de digorie92 posté le 01-01-2019 à 22:20:14 (S | E | F)
Bonjour et bonne année 2019 à tous ! ;)
On reprend vite le cap, j'ai une lettre de motivation à réaliser en anglais pour un double diplôme. Pouvez-vous m'aider à traquer les éventuelles fautes de langue ? Le contenu en lui-même importe peu, c'est vraiment la langue que je cherche à travailler.
Merci beaucoup à vous !
Dear Mr. Paul,
I am writing to apply for MSc in Advanced Computational Methods for Aeronautics, found on the website of your university. Currently, I purchase my first year of master’s degree in Mechanical engineering at ***, *** Campus and I would like to fulfil a double degree in your university.
As an undergraduate, I have learned the beginnings of aeronautic concept and I knew at that moment that I wanted to study this course because it combines many areas which I am interested in: aerodynamics, engines, structure… I have already started to study those subjects in detail. This year, my academic project work was about the last version of the PSA engine. With my 4 teammates, I developed many capacities. We learned how to work in group, listen each other, and choose the best solutions according to the different problems. For instance, we had to find a way to disassemble the piston without damaging the seals while managing time because of the deadline.
Beyond academic interests, one of my great passions is piano: I have practised this instrument for 3 years and daily trainings taught me perseverance and discipline. I also enjoy practicing Judo. This martial art helped me to gain self-confidence. After 10 years of practice, and ranking 5th at Paris tournament, I am now preparing for the final Black belt exam. Those two activities teach me how to expand my limits, both physically and intellectually.
The emphasis on community, teamwork and a “real-world” approach to sciences are what have led me to apply to a British university. Your university is the best ground to fulfil my love for engineering, my drive to learn and to become a great engineer.
Please refer to my resume for in-depth information. Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely,
Signature
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-01-2019 08:01
Message de digorie92 posté le 01-01-2019 à 22:20:14 (S | E | F)
Bonjour et bonne année 2019 à tous ! ;)
On reprend vite le cap, j'ai une lettre de motivation à réaliser en anglais pour un double diplôme. Pouvez-vous m'aider à traquer les éventuelles fautes de langue ? Le contenu en lui-même importe peu, c'est vraiment la langue que je cherche à travailler.
Merci beaucoup à vous !
Dear Mr. Paul,
I am writing to apply for MSc in Advanced Computational Methods for Aeronautics, found on the website of your university. Currently, I purchase my first year of master’s degree in Mechanical engineering at ***, *** Campus and I would like to fulfil a double degree in your university.
As an undergraduate, I have learned the beginnings of aeronautic concept and I knew at that moment that I wanted to study this course because it combines many areas which I am interested in: aerodynamics, engines, structure… I have already started to study those subjects in detail. This year, my academic project work was about the last version of the PSA engine. With my 4 teammates, I developed many capacities. We learned how to work in group, listen each other, and choose the best solutions according to the different problems. For instance, we had to find a way to disassemble the piston without damaging the seals while managing time because of the deadline.
Beyond academic interests, one of my great passions is piano: I have practised this instrument for 3 years and daily trainings taught me perseverance and discipline. I also enjoy practicing Judo. This martial art helped me to gain self-confidence. After 10 years of practice, and ranking 5th at Paris tournament, I am now preparing for the final Black belt exam. Those two activities teach me how to expand my limits, both physically and intellectually.
The emphasis on community, teamwork and a “real-world” approach to sciences are what have led me to apply to a British university. Your university is the best ground to fulfil my love for engineering, my drive to learn and to become a great engineer.
Please refer to my resume for in-depth information. Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely,
Signature
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-01-2019 08:01
Réponse : Lettre / motivation de gerondif, postée le 01-01-2019 à 22:44:04 (S | E)
Bonjour
Deux trois bricoles.
Vous avez dû écrire acheter au lieu d'achever ma première année et votre traducteur automatique traduit donc par to purchase my first year. Amusant...
To fulfill a degree ? Remplir un diplôme ??
On dit to listen TO somebody.
On met the devant piano.
....what has lead me. What est singulier.
To apply in a university.
Réponse : Lettre / motivation de kazwell, postée le 02-01-2019 à 08:13:26 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je reprends les remarques de gerondif
+
the website of your university --> Lien internet
beginnings-->basis (suggestion)
I have practised
helped me
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-01-2019 08:22
Réponse : Lettre / motivation de lucile83, postée le 02-01-2019 à 08:25:50 (S | E)
Hello,
I have practised is correct BE.
I have practiced is AE.
Réponse : Lettre / motivation de digorie92, postée le 02-01-2019 à 15:40:40 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour vos corrections :
Je n'ai pas compris quelques points :
- je pensais qu'on ne mettais pas 's en possessif s'il ne s'agissait pas d'une personne ? dois-je donc mettre university's website ?
- pour répondre à vos corrections Gerondif, je n'ai pas utilisé de traducteur, dans mon cours d'anglais il est indiqué que "purchase" siginifait "suivre (un cursus)" ;)
- enfin, to apply for ? ou in ? la dénomination qui suit le mot est le nom d'un Master.
Merci beaucoup à vous !!
Version en cours :
"Dear Mr. Bruce,
I am writing to apply for MSc in Advanced Computational Methods for Aeronautics, found on the university’s website. Currently, I achieve my first year of master’s degree in Mechanical engineering at ***,*** Campus and I would like to study a double degree in your university.
As an undergraduate, I have learned the basis of aeronautic concept and I knew at that moment that I wanted to study this course because it combines many areas which I am interested in: aerodynamics, engines, structure… I have already started to study those subjects in detail. This year, my academic project work was about the last version of the PSA engine. With my 4 teammates, I developed many capacities. We learned how to work in group, listen to each other, and choose the best solutions according to the different problems. For instance, we had to find a way to disassemble the piston without damaging the seals while managing time because of the deadline.
Beyond academic interests, one of my great passions is the piano: I have practiced this instrument for 3 years and daily trainings taught me perseverance and discipline. I also enjoy practicing Judo. This martial art helped me gain self-confidence. After 10 years of practice, and ranking 5th at Paris tournament, I am now preparing for the final Black belt exam. Those two activities teach me how to expand my limits, both physically and intellectually.
The emphasis on community, teamwork and a “real-world” approach to sciences are what has led me to apply to a British university. Your university is the best ground to fulfil my love for engineering, my drive to learn and to become a great engineer.
Please refer to my resume for in-depth information. Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely"
Réponse : Lettre / motivation de digorie92, postée le 05-01-2019 à 14:42:45 (S | E)
Hello !
Quelqu'un peut-il m'aider sur cette nouvelle étape ?
Merci beaucoup !
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