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Message de anae64 posté le 30-09-2009 à 14:26:12 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un essai à faire en anglais dans le cadre du "First certificate of English". Voici le sujet : "Write a report on shopping facilities in your area."
Pouvez-vous me corriger mes erreurs s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance
Anae
o Introduction
This report is written to analyse shopping facilities that may be worth visiting in Paris with intent to create a leaflet for tourists.
Firstly, I will discuss of the Haute Couture and jeweller’s shops. Then, we will look at department stores. Finally, I will give my recommendations about shopping in Paris.
o Haute Couture and jeweller’s shops
All the best designers have boutiques in Paris. On the Avenue Montaigne, we can find stores from the top names in international fashion and jewellery: Cartier, Chanel, Dior...
However, the best of the chic Paris shopping is the Avenue des Champs-Élysées.
o Department stores
A Paris shopping trip is incomplete without a visit to department stores where you can buy everything you could ever dream of. Two of the most famous rivals, Printemps and Galeries Lafayette, may be found side-by-side on Boulevard Haussmann.
o Conclusion
I would not hesitate to recommend the three places to your leaflet. These streets are well-known and popular among visitors. However, the best plan would be to discover the small and typical French boutiques.
Réponse: Shopping in Paris de seb06000, postée le 30-09-2009 à 15:16:23 (S | E)
bonjour,
je vous indique les éléments à corriger!
"o Introduction
This report is written to analyse shopping facilities that may be worth visiting in Paris with intent to create a leaflet for tourists.
Firstly, I will discuss of the Haute Couture and jeweller’s shops. Then, we will look at(verbe à changer) department stores. Finally, I will give my recommendations about shopping in Paris.
o Haute Couture and jeweller’s shops
All the best designers have boutiques in Paris. On the Avenue Montaigne, we can find stores from the top names (expression à revoir) in international fashion and jewellery: Cartier, Chanel, Dior...
However, the best of the chic Paris shopping is the Avenue des Champs-Élysées.
o Department stores
A Paris shopping trip is incomplete without a visit to department stores where you can buy everything you could ever dream of. Two of the most famous rivals, Printemps and Galeries Lafayette, may be found side-by-side on Boulevard Haussmann.
o Conclusion
I would not hesitate to recommend the three places to your leaflet. These streets are well-known and popular among visitors. However, the best plan would be to discover the small and typical French boutiques.
voilà ce ne sont que des détails. J'ai juste un doute sur 'jeweller's shops', je dirais 'jewel's store',à vérifier!
Bon courage,
sebastien
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Modifié par seb06000 le 30-09-2009 15:50
note pour Lucile: je pensais à la chanson des Beatles "ob-la-di" avec notamment la phrase 'desmond takes a trolley to the jewel's store, buys a 20 carat golden ring",à bien y réfléchir je doutais de la pertinence de la forme en ER mais là je suis perdu
Réponse: Shopping in Paris de lucile83, postée le 30-09-2009 à 15:22:15 (S | E)
Hi,
Why not jeweller's ?
Réponse: Shopping in Paris de anae64, postée le 30-09-2009 à 15:44:32 (S | E)
Tout d'abord merci a vous deux de m'avoir répondu aussi rapidement. Concernant mes deux erreurs :
-J'ai remplacé "look at" par "present" et "jeweller's shop" par "jeweller's" (qui est le mot préconisé dans le dictionnaire).
-J'ai retravaillé ma phrase concernant les magasins de haute couture et voici ce que ca donne : "On the Avenue Montaigne, we can find stores with the names of international fashionable creators and jewellers: Cartier, Chanel, Dior...". Est-ce mieux?
Merci d'avance
Anae
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Modifié par anae64 le 30-09-2009 15:45
Réponse: Shopping in Paris de seb06000, postée le 30-09-2009 à 15:50:11 (S | E)
rebonjour,
Pour moi tout me semble parfait!
Réponse: Shopping in Paris de anae64, postée le 30-09-2009 à 15:52:01 (S | E)
Merci pour votre aide et bonne journée
Anae
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