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Correction/Takeaway food
Message de blueam posté le 03-10-2009 à 12:28:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, je viens de finir une expression écrite en anglais. Pourriez-vous y apporter une correction S.V.P..
Voici mon sujet: Takeaway food is becoming more and more popular. Account for this evolution in contemporary society.
Pour cela je devais écrire 200 mots, mais j'ai l'impression qu'il me manque un petit quelque chose pour clore cette expression. Si vous avez une idée, je suis preneur. Par la même occasion, pourriez vous me dire si le texte répond plutôt au sujet demandé.
Nowadays we devote little time to eating in our current society. When we leave our work or the school at noon, we are very satisfied to pass on our road a takeaway food outlet. It allows us to eat as quickly as possible to be back on time.
During the last years takeaway food was very simple. For example a simple sandwich with ham and butter either a salad. This effect of repetition would have been able to cause the fall of the empire of the takeaway food. But little by little this type of catering has developed. Many chefs perk up again to propose a good, healthy, decent, sophisticated food at moderate prices. They have allowed to change the image of the takeaway food with the intention of getting out of the commonness.
To answer the customers demands, there are many kinds of takeaway food outlets, offering different dishes, Chinese, pizza, pasta, sandwiches ... to satisfy all tastes.
The advantages of the takeaway food are that it allows for everybody to eat for cheap and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy ourselves something to eat while reading a book, looking at the shop windows of stores, sitting down in a public garden, doing it shopping, etc.
Merci d'avance.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-10-2009 16:30
Message de blueam posté le 03-10-2009 à 12:28:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, je viens de finir une expression écrite en anglais. Pourriez-vous y apporter une correction S.V.P..
Voici mon sujet: Takeaway food is becoming more and more popular. Account for this evolution in contemporary society.
Pour cela je devais écrire 200 mots, mais j'ai l'impression qu'il me manque un petit quelque chose pour clore cette expression. Si vous avez une idée, je suis preneur. Par la même occasion, pourriez vous me dire si le texte répond plutôt au sujet demandé.
Nowadays we devote little time to eating in our current society. When we leave our work or the school at noon, we are very satisfied to pass on our road a takeaway food outlet. It allows us to eat as quickly as possible to be back on time.
During the last years takeaway food was very simple. For example a simple sandwich with ham and butter either a salad. This effect of repetition would have been able to cause the fall of the empire of the takeaway food. But little by little this type of catering has developed. Many chefs perk up again to propose a good, healthy, decent, sophisticated food at moderate prices. They have allowed to change the image of the takeaway food with the intention of getting out of the commonness.
To answer the customers demands, there are many kinds of takeaway food outlets, offering different dishes, Chinese, pizza, pasta, sandwiches ... to satisfy all tastes.
The advantages of the takeaway food are that it allows for everybody to eat for cheap and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy ourselves something to eat while reading a book, looking at the shop windows of stores, sitting down in a public garden, doing it shopping, etc.
Merci d'avance.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-10-2009 16:30
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de seb06000, postée le 03-10-2009 à 12:52:51 (S | E)
bonjour,
je vous indique les choses à corriger:
'Nowadays we devote little time to eating in our current (un peu redondant) society. When we leave our work or the school (article inutile, c'est l'institution et non le batiment dont vous parlez) at noon, we are very satisfied to pass on our road a takeaway food outlet. It allows us to eat as quickly as possible to be back on time.
During the last years (formulation à améliorer) takeaway food was very simple. For example a simple sandwich with ham and butter either (either est mal employé, il doit s'accompagner de 'nor') a salad. This effect of repetition would have been able to cause the fall of the empire of the takeaway food. But little by little this type of catering has developed. Many chefs perk up again to propose a good, healthy, decent, sophisticated food at moderate prices. They have allowed to change the image of the (article inutile , à corriger pour les autres fois où vous l'employez!) takeaway food with the intention of getting out of the commonness.
To answer the customers demands, there are many kinds of takeaway food outlets, offering different dishes, Chinese, pizza, pasta, sandwiches ... to satisfy all tastes.
The advantages of the takeaway food are that it allows for (construction de 'to allow') everybody to eat for ( for inutile, je transformerais 'cheap' en adverbe)cheap and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy ourselves (verbe réfléchi avec buy inutile) something to eat while reading a book, looking at the shop windows of stores, sitting down in a public garden, doing it shopping, etc.
voilà ce sont des détails
. Je pense que vous pourriez développer la seconde partie concernant le mode de vie, les avantages pour la vie de tous les jours! Donnez d'autres exemples et notamment personnels!
Amicalement
sebastien
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Modifié par seb06000 le 03-10-2009 12:55
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de blueam, postée le 03-10-2009 à 14:44:40 (S | E)
Nowadays we devote less and less time to eating in our society. When we leave our work or school at noon, we are very satisfied to pass on our road a takeaway food outlet. It allows us to eat as quickly as possible to be back on time.
During the last years (formulation à améliorer) takeaway food was very simple, for example it could be made of a simple sandwich with ham and butter or a salad. This effect of repetition would have been able to cause the fall of the empire of takeaway food. But little by little this type of catering has developed. Many chefs perk up again to propose a good, healthy, decent, sophisticated food at moderate prices. They have allowed to change the image of takeaway food with the intention of getting out of commonness.
To answer the customers demands, there are many kinds of takeaway food outlets, offering different dishes, Chinese, pizza, pasta, sandwiches ... to satisfy all tastes.
The advantages of takeaway food is that it allow for everybody to eat cheaply and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy something to eat while reading a book, looking at the shop windows of stores, sitting down in a public garden, doing it shopping, etc.
Et comme ceci? Pour "During the last years" je ne vois pas du tout. Est-ce bon?
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de blueam, postée le 03-10-2009 à 14:47:12 (S | E)
Pour "during the last years" j'ai "throughout the last years". Non?
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de seb06000, postée le 03-10-2009 à 14:51:31 (S | E)
rebonjour,
on pourrait dire ' in past years' si l'action est passée ( dans le temps la nourriture à emporter était assez basique) mais le mieux est de traduire par 'Takeaway food used to be very simple'
Seb
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de blueam, postée le 03-10-2009 à 20:02:00 (S | E)
Nowadays we devote less and less time to eating in our society. When we leave our work or school at noon, we are very satisfied to pass on our road a takeaway food outlet. It allows us to eat as quickly as possible to be back on time.
Takeaway food used to be very simple, for example it could be made of a simple sandwich with ham and butter or a salad. This effect of repetition would have been able to cause the fall of the empire of takeaway food. But little by little this type of catering has developed. Many chefs perk up again to propose a good, healthy, decent, sophisticated food at moderate prices. They have allowed to change the image of takeaway food with the intention of getting out of commonness.
To answer the customers demands, there are many kinds of takeaway food outlets, offering different dishes, Chinese, pizza, pasta, sandwiches ... to satisfy all tastes.
The advantages of takeaway food is that it allow for everybody to eat cheaply and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy something to eat while reading a book, looking at the shop windows of stores, sitting down in a public garden, doing it shopping, etc.
In some words, takeaway food is really practical.
Voilà la toute dernière traduction, j'y ai rajouté un petit quelque chose. Est-ce bon?
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de lucile83, postée le 03-10-2009 à 20:40:17 (S | E)
Hello,
Seb étant je ne sais où...je prends le relais, pour le dernier paragraphe,le reste étant ok;
The advantages of takeaway food is that it allow for everybody to eat cheaply and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy something to eat while reading a book, looking at the shop windows of stores....pléonasme, sitting down in a public garden, doing it shopping, etc.
In some words, takeaway food is really practical.
Best wishes.
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de seb06000, postée le 03-10-2009 à 22:23:49 (S | E)
Désolé Lucile...j'ai effectivement manqué une ou deux choses, sans doute car j'ai aussi ma petite vie à côté et des lignes d'écriture pendant mes heures de colle...
J'avais proposé à notre ami de compléter son dernier paragraphe mais j'ai raté mes mises à jour
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2009 09:36
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de blueam, postée le 04-10-2009 à 00:26:25 (S | E)
RE- voici ma correction en rouge. Est-ce bon?
The advantages of takeaway food is that it allow to everybody to eat cheaply and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy something to eat while reading a book, looking at the shop windows, sitting down in a public garden, doing shopping, etc.
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de blueam, postée le 04-10-2009 à 11:18:50 (S | E)
Donc je pense avoir trouvé les dernières erreurs, je l'ai est mise en rouge.
The advantages of takeaway food is that it allow to everybody to eat cheaply and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy something to eat while reading a book, looking at the shop windows, sitting down in a public garden, doing shopping, etc.
Merci.
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de seb06000, postée le 04-10-2009 à 11:25:27 (S | E)
bonjour
-regardez la construction de ' to allow' vous avez rajouté une préposition inutile
-j'hésite avec to look at the shop windows: on peut en faire un verbe ( to go win...-sho....
) et cela passera mieux-doing shopping me convient parfaitement!
Vous avez presque fini
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de blueam, postée le 04-10-2009 à 11:39:05 (S | E)
The advantages of takeaway food is that it allow everybody to eat cheaply and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy something to eat while reading a book, going windows-shops, sitting down in a public garden, doing shopping, etc.
Comme ceci?
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de seb06000, postée le 04-10-2009 à 11:42:28 (S | E)
c'est bon pour 'to allow'
Par contre ' going' non, il faut suivre la même construction que pour buy ( vous êtes dans l'énumeration: la plupart du temps, nous achetons, nous faisons du lèche-vitrine etc)donc ING inutile ici.
Ensuite, 'faire du lèche vitrine' se dit autrement, c'est une activité donc il y aura une forme ING finale et Window est en position adjectivale donc invariable => le plus simple est de regarder dans le dictionnaire en ligne du site!
Amicalement
sebastien
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Modifié par seb06000 le 04-10-2009 11:50
Aucune excuse pour le 's', je me concentrais sur la préposition...vieux principe d'IUFM, 1h de colle supplémentaire
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2009 11:59
et c'est peu payé !Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de lucile83, postée le 04-10-2009 à 11:49:23 (S | E)
Hello,
Je cite:
...takeaway food is that it allow...
est-ce que le verbe 'allow' ne prend pas de 's'?
Bye!
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de blueam, postée le 04-10-2009 à 11:56:01 (S | E)
J'ai trouvé: to go window-shopping
donc
The advantages of takeaway food is that it allow everybody to eat cheaply and quickly. We have the possibility of lunching on the spot from time to time. But most of the time we buy something to eat while reading a book, to go window-shopping, sitting down in a public garden, doing shopping, etc.
?
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de seb06000, postée le 04-10-2009 à 11:59:20 (S | E)
parfait!
Ne reste plus qu'à rajouter le ' S' à allow et Lucile sera contente
Bon dimanche à vous!
sebastien
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de lucile83, postée le 04-10-2009 à 12:01:27 (S | E)
seb !!! en plus il était présent dans le post initial 
il avait disparu dans la 'bagarre'.
Réponse: Correction/Takeaway food de blueam, postée le 04-10-2009 à 12:02:27 (S | E)
Merci à tous les deux!!!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2009 12:09
surtout à seb !
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