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Correction/ about a film on TV
Message de bobii971 posté le 04-10-2009 à 12:51:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour! Pouvez-vous corriger mes fautes s'il vous plait?
I have felt tor between two different things,but I didn't play my future as Gogol, but I didn't succeed to decided between two TV program...Every on Saturday evening, I sit down to watch TV, because there is always a good movie to watch. However, this evening was special, because, there are two very good program! A American series, that I like and watched for a long time, or a movie, that according the critics of the film and by watching the trailer, this film was very interessant, with many actions and with actors, who I like, so it seemed to be a very good film! Basically, a film as I like it! I was necessary, that I watched it! At the beginning, I watched my serie...But I am very curious, so I flicked trough the channels all the time. The film was about the Second wars of the world "Indigène". I said myself: "if I watch my series, I am sure, that it'll be good, or the film, I don't know! I continued to say myself... I have to change my customs, in more, this film can teach me many things about the history. I didn't stop to change my opinion... Finally, I watched my serie...However, the next day, somebody spoke about the film... Apparently, it was super! Even my professor of history spoke about it. So, I felt spread and isolated, because he asked about the film and I was lost in their discussion...I hate to be in this situation! I was disappointed...
pouvez-vous aussi me donner votre avis sur mon texte please? thank you!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2009 13:25
Message de bobii971 posté le 04-10-2009 à 12:51:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour! Pouvez-vous corriger mes fautes s'il vous plait?
I have felt tor between two different things,but I didn't play my future as Gogol, but I didn't succeed to decided between two TV program...Every on Saturday evening, I sit down to watch TV, because there is always a good movie to watch. However, this evening was special, because, there are two very good program! A American series, that I like and watched for a long time, or a movie, that according the critics of the film and by watching the trailer, this film was very interessant, with many actions and with actors, who I like, so it seemed to be a very good film! Basically, a film as I like it! I was necessary, that I watched it! At the beginning, I watched my serie...But I am very curious, so I flicked trough the channels all the time. The film was about the Second wars of the world "Indigène". I said myself: "if I watch my series, I am sure, that it'll be good, or the film, I don't know! I continued to say myself... I have to change my customs, in more, this film can teach me many things about the history. I didn't stop to change my opinion... Finally, I watched my serie...However, the next day, somebody spoke about the film... Apparently, it was super! Even my professor of history spoke about it. So, I felt spread and isolated, because he asked about the film and I was lost in their discussion...I hate to be in this situation! I was disappointed...
pouvez-vous aussi me donner votre avis sur mon texte please? thank you!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2009 13:25
Réponse: Correction/ about a film on TV de brettdallen, postée le 04-10-2009 à 13:10:25 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je signale ce qui peut être amélioré.
I
), with many(choisissez "much") actions and with actorsJe n'ai pas tout corrigé. Faites déjà le nécessaire et on verra le reste ensuite.
Vous oscillez entre passé et présent: faites un choix clair! s'il s'agit d'un récit, cela ne vous empêche nullement de faire des commentaires généraux, donc au présent...
Amicalement.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2009 13:23
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