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Correction essay
Message de nam posté le 19-10-2009 à 14:58:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je me prépare à l'examen de l'IELTS et je vais donc poster régulièrement des dissertations.
Pourriez-vous me corriger les fautes d'anglais les plus évidentes et me donner une appréciation générale sur la composition?
Merci d'avance pour toutes les réponses!
Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amount of money. What are your opinion on this?
In 2007, the emergence of the subprime crisis revealed to the public opinion the in’s and out’s of housing loans and excessive debts. Indeed, in that particular case the households solvency was not enough taken into account so that they could resort to a loan, whatever their economic situation was. And it led a lot of them to dismay facing a catastrophic financial situation. Therefore, because taking a credit is sometimes the only way families can afford food or mere goods, regulating the access to credits appears a controversial question, even when necessary.
First, a client can often resort to a loan without being fully aware of its clauses and deadlines. Variable rates or long-terms loans thus extend the repayment period. Consequently, one is easily unable to repay a credit hence borrows another large amount of money: and it goes on, and is called a “vicious circle”. To avoid this kind of situation, the access to credit should obviously be made more difficult for households heavily in debts. Moreover, excessive debts can be harmful to banks. Indeed, unsolvent households make banks loose a lot of money, as they are not repaid. So that it is in the interest of banks to provide non-risky loans, and to forbid access to credit to a certain category of borrowers.
To sum up, in my opinion, it is vital to prevent people using credit cards or loans too easily before they run up a excessive debt. However, I would say as far as I am concerned that a better dialogue and understanding of the consequences brought about by a loan is the best mean to prevent huge debts, as well as a personal follow-up to help people control their spending manners.
Message de nam posté le 19-10-2009 à 14:58:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je me prépare à l'examen de l'IELTS et je vais donc poster régulièrement des dissertations.
Pourriez-vous me corriger les fautes d'anglais les plus évidentes et me donner une appréciation générale sur la composition?
Merci d'avance pour toutes les réponses!
Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amount of money. What are your opinion on this?
In 2007, the emergence of the subprime crisis revealed to the public opinion the in’s and out’s of housing loans and excessive debts. Indeed, in that particular case the households solvency was not enough taken into account so that they could resort to a loan, whatever their economic situation was. And it led a lot of them to dismay facing a catastrophic financial situation. Therefore, because taking a credit is sometimes the only way families can afford food or mere goods, regulating the access to credits appears a controversial question, even when necessary.
First, a client can often resort to a loan without being fully aware of its clauses and deadlines. Variable rates or long-terms loans thus extend the repayment period. Consequently, one is easily unable to repay a credit hence borrows another large amount of money: and it goes on, and is called a “vicious circle”. To avoid this kind of situation, the access to credit should obviously be made more difficult for households heavily in debts. Moreover, excessive debts can be harmful to banks. Indeed, unsolvent households make banks loose a lot of money, as they are not repaid. So that it is in the interest of banks to provide non-risky loans, and to forbid access to credit to a certain category of borrowers.
To sum up, in my opinion, it is vital to prevent people using credit cards or loans too easily before they run up a excessive debt. However, I would say as far as I am concerned that a better dialogue and understanding of the consequences brought about by a loan is the best mean to prevent huge debts, as well as a personal follow-up to help people control their spending manners.
Réponse: Correction essay de seb06000, postée le 19-10-2009 à 17:45:29 (S | E)
bonsoir,
Avec beaucoup de prudence, je dirais qu'il n'y a aucune erreur
Bonne soirée
sebastien
Réponse: Correction essay de laure95, postée le 20-10-2009 à 11:02:14 (S | E)
Bonjour, votre dissertation est très bien. Voici juste quelques petits points à corriger:
Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amount of money. What are your opinion on this?
In 2007, the emergence of the subprime crisis revealed to the public opinion the in’s and out’s of housing loans and excessive debts. Indeed, in that particular case the households solvency was not enough taken into account so that they could resort to a loan, whatever their economic situation was. And it led a lot of them to dismay facing a catastrophic financial situation. Therefore, because taking a credit is sometimes the only way families can afford food or mere goods, regulating the access to credits appears to be a controversial question, even when necessary.
First, a client can often resort to a loan without being fully aware of its clauses and deadlines. Variable rates or long-terms loans thus extend the repayment period. Consequently, one is easily unable to repay a credit hence borrows another large amount of money: and it goes on, and it is called a “vicious circle”. To avoid this kind of situation, the access to credit should obviously be made more difficult for households heavily in debts. Moreover, excessive debts can be harmful to banks. Indeed, unsolvent households make banks loose (orthographe) a lot of money, as they are not repaid. So that it is in the interest of banks to provide non-risky loans, and to forbid access to credit to a certain category of borrowers.
To sum up, in my opinion, it is vital to prevent people from using credit cards or loans too easily before
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