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Etats-Unis / Correction
Message de elie44 posté le 30-10-2009 à 22:23:52 (S | E | F)
bonjour,
j'ai une expression d'anglais notée. Connaissant mon anglais pitoyable et le nombre de points qu'on m'enlève pour chaque erreur j'aimerais avoir une bonne note pour une fois. Mon texte est surement plein d'erreurs et j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à corriger mes erreurs.
voici mon texte:
This tetx is an autobiography of an american journalist and teacher. HE gives his opinion about the USA, throught his trips, his teacher experience. He concludes this coutry is paradoxal.
After his opinion, the mine is asked about :"Would you like to live for a while in the United States? Why or why not?" My first thought is the USA are a dream, symbol of freedom where nothing is impossible. But after reflection, I think this vision of the United States is detroyed by actions about and system Americans problems.
In the first place, the USA is surprising ant attractive for it's a rich country, symbol of freedom and which has a big influence over the world. Excessive country, one cannot help thinking that all is impossible, that one can begin a new life in this country. It's also a multicultural country. To learn different cutures is interessant and to discover others ways of life could help certainly to be more open-minded. Even more, it's a country which
proposes colleges of quality and which insures good jobs among globalization.
Howover, the USA is also seen like a terrifing superpower with inside coutry problems. That is to say that firstly, his actions abroad, for instance, in India, in Iraq. All these actions shows a trigger-happy country which dominate all countries.Moreover, the USA is marked ba social problems like racism or develloping of violence. This country hasn't welfare and others european social benefits. Therefore, ther is a big ditch between rich people and poor people. This inequality is strenghtened by an access no free to the culture, to the education for example.
For all these reasons, the USA is a worst symbol of freedom. It represent a superpower which wants just to dominate all coutries and his influence over teh world is certainly bad.AS for as, I wouldn't like to live in teh USA. Nevertheless, for a while, a trip help always to be more open-minded. So, for have a real opinion of this country, I could live for a while in the USA.
voila, si quelq'un pourrait maider a corriger mes erreurs ça serait gentil.
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Modifié par bridg le 30-10-2009 22:25
titre
Message de elie44 posté le 30-10-2009 à 22:23:52 (S | E | F)
bonjour,
j'ai une expression d'anglais notée. Connaissant mon anglais pitoyable et le nombre de points qu'on m'enlève pour chaque erreur j'aimerais avoir une bonne note pour une fois. Mon texte est surement plein d'erreurs et j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à corriger mes erreurs.
voici mon texte:
This tetx is an autobiography of an american journalist and teacher. HE gives his opinion about the USA, throught his trips, his teacher experience. He concludes this coutry is paradoxal.
After his opinion, the mine is asked about :"Would you like to live for a while in the United States? Why or why not?" My first thought is the USA are a dream, symbol of freedom where nothing is impossible. But after reflection, I think this vision of the United States is detroyed by actions about and system Americans problems.
In the first place, the USA is surprising ant attractive for it's a rich country, symbol of freedom and which has a big influence over the world. Excessive country, one cannot help thinking that all is impossible, that one can begin a new life in this country. It's also a multicultural country. To learn different cutures is interessant and to discover others ways of life could help certainly to be more open-minded. Even more, it's a country which
proposes colleges of quality and which insures good jobs among globalization.
Howover, the USA is also seen like a terrifing superpower with inside coutry problems. That is to say that firstly, his actions abroad, for instance, in India, in Iraq. All these actions shows a trigger-happy country which dominate all countries.Moreover, the USA is marked ba social problems like racism or develloping of violence. This country hasn't welfare and others european social benefits. Therefore, ther is a big ditch between rich people and poor people. This inequality is strenghtened by an access no free to the culture, to the education for example.
For all these reasons, the USA is a worst symbol of freedom. It represent a superpower which wants just to dominate all coutries and his influence over teh world is certainly bad.AS for as, I wouldn't like to live in teh USA. Nevertheless, for a while, a trip help always to be more open-minded. So, for have a real opinion of this country, I could live for a while in the USA.
voila, si quelq'un pourrait maider a corriger mes erreurs ça serait gentil.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 30-10-2009 22:25
titre
Réponse: Etats-Unis / Correction de brettdallen, postée le 30-10-2009 à 22:51:44 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Je signale de manière expresse et lacunaire ce qui ne va pas...
This tetx is an autobiography of an american journalist and teacher. HE gives his opinion about the USA, throught his trips, his teacher(ing) experience. He concludes("in saying that") this coutry(ortho) is paradoxal(vérifiez "paradoxal", mais en fait vous devriez dire "est un paradoxe").
After his opinion,
about(je ne comprends pas..) and system( ? ) Americans problems.In the first place, the USA is surprising ant attractive for it's a rich country,(it's the) symbol of freedom and
proposes colleges of quality and which insures good jobs among
globalization.Howover, the USA is also seen like a terrifing(ortho) superpower with inside(non! "domestic"?) coutry(ortho, mais "domestic" suffit) problems. That is to say that(mal choisi) firstly, his(pour un pays?) actions abroad, for instance, in India, in Iraq. All these actions shows a trigger-happy country which dominate(...) all countries.Moreover, the USA is marked ba social problems like racism or develloping(ortho) of violence. This country hasn't("doesn't have") welfare and others european social benefits. Therefore, ther(e) is a big ditch(choisissez un autre terme) between rich people and poor people. This inequality is strenghtened by an access no free(à revoir) to
For all these reasons, the USA is a worst(à revoir) symbol of freedom. It represent(s) a superpower which wants just to dominate all coutries(ortho) and his(c'est un pays!) influence over teh world is certainly bad.AS for as( ? ), I wouldn't like to live in teh USA. Nevertheless, for a while, a trip help(s) always(avant le verbe) to be more open-minded. So, for("to"!) have a real opinion of this country, I could live for a while in the USA.
Dans un premier temps, faites les corrections nécessaires et nous affinerons ensuite pour enfin nous occuper du fond.
Amicalement.
Réponse: Etats-Unis / Correction de elie44, postée le 31-10-2009 à 14:37:40 (S | E)
merci beaucoup.
certaine sont des fautes de frappe mais d'autres me permettrons de ne pas perdre de points.
Réponse: Etats-Unis / Correction de elie44, postée le 31-10-2009 à 15:06:42 (S | E)
pour le paragraphe d'intro, je voulais dire: "est détruite par ces actions a l'étranger et par les problèmes (que rencontre le/du) système américain" mais peut être que ma phrase est complètement fausse en anglais.
pour "destroyed" est-ce que "ruined" serait plus approprié?
pour "excessive country" puis-je le remplacer par "country with excessive (ideas/ways of life)" ?
pour impossible (deuxième paragraphe) je voulais dire "possible"
pour ce qui est "des problèmes à l'intérieur du pays" vous mettriez "domestic problems" si j'ai bien compris
je ne comprends pas le "ba" dans le troisième paragraphe.
pour "develloping" la bonne orthographe serait "development" ou "developing"?
puis-je remplacer "ditch" par "difference"?
pour le "as for as" c'est une expression donné par mon prof pour dire "en ce qui me concerne".
merci encore pour cette correction.
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