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Message de milip posté le 03-11-2009 à 21:50:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour bonjour. J'aurais besoin d'aide pour une correction de mon expression d'anglais.
Je vous donne
Il faut inventer un dialogue entre Cal (fils)et son père. Il annonce qu'il veut partir :
"Cal hesitated; this situation could not continue any more... That's why he entered in his father's bedroom to speak to him.
- Hi dad !
- Good evening Cal.
- Daddy, I need to talk to you... said he nervously.
- Cal, I'm spying on the neighbours. Come back later please.
- I can't bear this situation anymore ! Flared up the boy.
- What situation ? asked his father surprised.
- This life ! This permanent exclusion ! It's impossible to live.
- Well... Cal, there is nothing should make you fell ill at ease, that's just provocation ! Come on, Bear up ! You can fight back ! insisted the father.
- No it's not, it's harassment and I want to live in peace ! I want to be free!
- Cal, you can do what you want at home, you're free. Answered quietly the cal's father.
- No I'm not free, I'm nineteen, I want to go out when I whant, to live like everybody else.
- You know, you can to go out but it's dangerous. You should stay with me in safety.
- But I need some privacy dad, and I want to have a normal life, that's why I decided to go.
- If you leave, you lose against the Protestants.
- Dad, it's not a game ! When will you stop thinking of yourself and care about your son's life ?
- You think I'm selfish ! I care about you Call ! It's for you that I do all this !
- You just want me to help you to stand up ti the Protestants, exclaimed Cal, I'm going to bed !
He closed the door, went in his room and prepared his suitcases."
Voila. J'éspère que ce n'est pas trop mauvais :s
J'ai une question aussi a propos des guillemets. Je ne sais pas vraiment quand les mettres. Est ce que j'ai le droit d'inclure les verbes de paroles tel que " exclaimed Cal " ?
Je vous remercie d'avance. =)
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-11-2009 21:53
Réponse: Correction /Cal and his father de seb06000, postée le 04-11-2009 à 09:33:24 (S | E)
bonjour,
désolé je n'avais pas vu votre question
Petite règle: Quand on construit un dialogue en anglais, il faut aller à la ligne pour chaque changement de locuteur et contrairement au système français, il faut mettre des guillemets à chaque changement de locuteur
" you should go to the doctor" Mrs Bingley said worried " otherwise you will get on trouble"
"I will" Lisa said etc
Maintenant je vous donne les indications de correction:
Cal hesitated; this situation could not continue any more... That's why he entered in ( pas de préposition => to enter a room) his father's bedroom to speak to him.
- Hi dad !
- Good evening Cal.
- Daddy, I need to talk to you... said he nervously.
- Cal, I'm spying on the neighbours. Come back later please.
- I can't bear this situation anymore ! Flared up (sens?) the boy.
- What situation ? asked his father surprised.
- This life ! This permanent exclusion ! It's impossible to live.
- Well... Cal, there is nothing (il manque un relatif ou un groupe sujet) should make you fell ill at ease, that's just provocation ! Come on, Bear up ! You can fight back ! insisted the father.
- No it's not, it's harassment and I want to live in peace ! I want to be free!
- Cal, you can do what you want at home, you're free. Answered quietly the cal's father.
- No I'm not free, I'm nineteen, I want to go out when I whant (ortho) , to live like everybody else.
- You know, you can to go out but it's dangerous. You should stay with me in safety.
- But I need some privacy dad, and I want to have a normal life, that's why I decided to go.
- If you leave, you lose against the Protestants.
- Dad, it's not a game ! When will you stop thinking of yourself and care about your son's life ?
- You think I'm selfish ! I care about you Call ! It's for you that I do all this !
- You just want me to help you to stand up ti the Protestants, exclaimed Cal, I'm going to bed !
He closed the door, went in his room and prepared his suitcases."'
Voilà il y a vraiment peu d'erreurs... par contre je m'interroge sur l'inversion sujet/verbe dans les didascalies ' dit-il?' => he said. Cela me choque un peu et va à l'encontre de ce que l'on m'a enseigné....Bien que je viens de le trouver dans un manuel de Terminale LV1
Amicalement
sebastien
Réponse: Correction /Cal and his father de milip, postée le 04-11-2009 à 09:54:41 (S | E)
Je vous remercie énormément!
Par "flared up", j'entendais "explosa". Enfin je voulais montrer que Cal était en colère ...
Je ne sais pas vraiment quoi utilisé comme verbe.
En tout cas, merci pour cette correction et pour l'histoire des guillemets. Ca m'aide beaucoup.
Avec toute mon amitié,
Lou.
Réponse: Correction /Cal and his father de milip, postée le 04-11-2009 à 10:01:30 (S | E)
J'ai corrigé, voila ce que ça donne :
Cal hesitated; this situation could not continue any more... That's why he entered his father's bedroom to speak to him.
- Hi dad !
- Good evening Cal.
- Daddy, I need to talk to you... said he nervously.
- Cal, I'm spying on the neighbours. Come back later please.
- I can't bear this situation anymore ! (...) the boy.
- What situation ? asked his father surprised.
- This life ! This permanent exclusion ! It's impossible to live.
- Well... Cal, there is nothing that should make you fell ill at ease, that's just provocation ! Come on, Bear up ! You can fight back ! insisted the father.
- No it's not, it's harassment and I want to live in peace ! I want to be free!
- Cal, you can do what you want at home, you're free. Answered quietly the cal's father.
- No I'm not free, I'm nineteen, I want to go out when I want, to live like everybody else.
- You know, you can to go out but it's dangerous. You should stay with me in safety.
- But I need some privacy dad, and I want to have a normal life, that's why I decided to go.
- If you leave, you lose against the Protestants.
- Dad, it's not a game ! When will you stop thinking of yourself and care about your son's life ?
- You think I'm selfish ! I care about you Call ! It's for you that I do all this !
- You just want me to help you to stand up ti the Protestants, exclaimed Cal, I'm going to bed !
He closed the door, went in his room and prepared his suitcases.
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