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Human being /correction
Message de jojo62 posté le 07-11-2009 à 13:33:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis en première année de Dut et j'ai un devoir d'anglais à rendre lundi. J'aimerais avoir un avis sur mon travail pour pouvoir corriger mes erreurs. Merci d'avance
Man is at the top of the pyramid of the species.
So, the Human beings us have an influence on the fauna and the flora. This explains why some of them are endangered.
Indeed man has evolved since his appearance and some of the things which he has created have an influence on the world. For example plants, automobiles which bring about a strong increase in pollution. This one increases the phenomenon of greenhouse effect and leads to the melting of the ice field as well as the disappearance of the polar bear but it is not the only one. Man acts indirectly on his disappearance.
He acts so directly on the disappearance of certain species who he goes hunting for their fur for example the leopard of snows. The money is the main aim.
These species have little influence on the man who is upper thanks to the modernity (weapons).
However this power which the man holds can turn around against him and pull his loss. He modifies the cycles natural as the temperature who is in increase, the food chain… This envy for profit always increasing is going to destroy the planet.
Moreover the man has no opponent because the other species can nothing against the weapons which possesses the man. He considers the boss of the world while it is the planet who allows him to live because we are dependent on resources who it supplies.
By destroying the balance planetary the man is going to become by his own fault a species who is going to disappear and he is going to entail with him all other species. We can thus conclude that the Human and the animals are endangered species.
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Modifié par bridg le 07-11-2009 13:39
titre
Message de jojo62 posté le 07-11-2009 à 13:33:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis en première année de Dut et j'ai un devoir d'anglais à rendre lundi. J'aimerais avoir un avis sur mon travail pour pouvoir corriger mes erreurs. Merci d'avance
Man is at the top of the pyramid of the species.
So, the Human beings us have an influence on the fauna and the flora. This explains why some of them are endangered.
Indeed man has evolved since his appearance and some of the things which he has created have an influence on the world. For example plants, automobiles which bring about a strong increase in pollution. This one increases the phenomenon of greenhouse effect and leads to the melting of the ice field as well as the disappearance of the polar bear but it is not the only one. Man acts indirectly on his disappearance.
He acts so directly on the disappearance of certain species who he goes hunting for their fur for example the leopard of snows. The money is the main aim.
These species have little influence on the man who is upper thanks to the modernity (weapons).
However this power which the man holds can turn around against him and pull his loss. He modifies the cycles natural as the temperature who is in increase, the food chain… This envy for profit always increasing is going to destroy the planet.
Moreover the man has no opponent because the other species can nothing against the weapons which possesses the man. He considers the boss of the world while it is the planet who allows him to live because we are dependent on resources who it supplies.
By destroying the balance planetary the man is going to become by his own fault a species who is going to disappear and he is going to entail with him all other species. We can thus conclude that the Human and the animals are endangered species.
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Modifié par bridg le 07-11-2009 13:39
titre
Réponse: Human being /correction de jean31, postée le 07-11-2009 à 14:53:28 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici les fautes que tu dois corriger :
- le pronom relatif "who" ne s'emploie que pour un antécédent de personne.
Dans les autres cas, c'est "which" ou "that".
- pas de déterminant "the" devant un nom (concret ou abstrait) employé dans la généralité. Les espèces = species - l'homme = man - l'argent = money. Vu ?
- l'adjectif épithète, qu'il soit simple ou précédé d'un adverbe, se place DEVANT le nom.
- "celle-ci/Cette dernière" (la pollution) = The latter
- léopard des neiges = snow leopard
Corrige tout ça et renvoie la sauce pour vérification.
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