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Message de mathjulie posté le 23-11-2009 à 18:47:11 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pourriez vous vérifier si je n'est pas fait trop de faute c'est une rédaction en anglais,
Dan, I went to see Papa, and I said to him that I wanted to tell my plans. He hearded me, but when I told that I was going to N.Y., he believed that it was to go to shop and asked that it was interesting. But I retorted that it was to live, to look for work in a theater. Papa was stunned, surprised and he answered that ha saw , moreover, it was good that I had told to him.
When he hearded the news, he suddenly and totally changed his behaviour. He was in good mood at the beginning of the conversation and then he behaves like a military officer preventing me from going out.
Then, he asked to me that when I had decided this. I told that it was some time ago besides, I had bought my railway ticket wednesday.
But you know Papa, and he tried to convince me to change my mind but I was adamant, and I stood my ground.
He said that he desired to discuss this reasonably, but I retorted that with all respect, this discussion wasn't necessary. But he didn't prevent him from adding his opinion and suggested that it wasn't healthy for a girl my age to venture to N.Y. for a career that might not exist all. So he thought that I am unlikely to succed.
I answered that you was going to N.Y. without being sure of getting a job and that he had approved of that. But Papa give me one on his answers of machist, that you was a man. However, I told angry, that was so old-fachionned.
He continued and said tha N.Y. was a filthy, wretched city, he had seen it many times , and he added that it simply, I wasn't safe.
But he was to understant (il devait comprendre) that my choice was done, hence I told that I had considered it carefully, and I was just informing him as a courtesy. He replied to me with a real rancor that was thoughtful.
To conclude, I stated that he knew Brodway was the only theater that matters. Wheter I didn't find out and i canned succeed there, I would hated me the rest of my life. He said that he wanted the best for me, a husband, a home, children. But I replied very outraged tha was his century. But this was my life.
Finally, I have won, and Papa doens't impose his will.
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Modifié par bridg le 23-11-2009 18:47
Rien n'est urgent sur ce site.
titre
Réponse: Lisa raconte / correction. de seb06000, postée le 23-11-2009 à 19:00:39 (S | E)
bonsoir,
je vous laisse les indications de correction:
'Dan, I went to see Papa, and I said ( je passerai par 'to tell') to him that I wanted to tell my plans. He hearded ( to hear est un verbe de perception involontaire) me, but when I told ( cette fois-ci, il faut 'to say) that I was going to N.Y., he believed that it was to go to shop (expression à revoir) and asked that it was interesting. But I retorted that it was to live, to look for work in a theater. Papa was stunned, surprised and he answered that ha saw (calque du français) , moreover, it was good that (expression à revoir) I had told to him.
When he hearded ( hearded n'existe pas) the news, he suddenly and totally changed his behaviour. He was in good mood at the beginning of the conversation and then he behaves( temps) like a military officer preventing me from going out.
Then, he asked to me that (construction de 'to ask' à revoir) when I had decided this. I told (voc) that it was some time ago besides, I had bought my railway ticket wednesday( le jour est introduit par une préposition) .
But you know Papa, and he tried to convince me to change my mind but I was adamant, and I stood my ground.
He said that he desired to discuss this reasonably, but I retorted that with all respect, this discussion wasn't necessary. But he didn't prevent him (erreur de pronom sujet) from adding his opinion and suggested that it wasn't healthy for a girl my age to venture to N.Y. for a career that might not exist all. So he thought that I am unlikely to succed (ortho) .
I answered that you was going to N.Y. without being sure of getting a job and that he had approved ( temps) of that. But Papa give (temps + conjugaison) me one on his answers of machist, that you was a man. However, I told angry (voc) , that was so old-fachionned.
He continued and said tha N.Y. was a filthy, wretched city, he had seen it many times , and he added that it simply 
, I wasn't safe.
But he was to understant (il faut passer par ' to have to') (il devait comprendre) that my choice was done, hence I told ( voc) that I had considered it carefully, and I was just informing him as a courtesy. He replied to me with a real rancor that was thoughtful.
To conclude, I stated that he knew Brodway was the only theater that matters. Wheter (voc) I didn't find out and i (majuscule) canned succeed there, I would hated( would + base verbale) me the rest of my life. He said that he wanted the best for me, a
Finally, I have won, and Papa doens't (temps) impose his will.
Voilà nous corrigerons dès que nous sommes disponibles
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Modifié par seb06000 le 23-11-2009 19:03
Mise en couleur
Réponse: Lisa raconte / correction. de mathjulie, postée le 23-11-2009 à 19:20:05 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de votre aide et de tous vos conseils.
Réponse: Lisa raconte / correction. de mapdark, postée le 28-11-2009 à 07:03:49 (S | E)
Dan, I went to see Dad, and I told him that I wanted to tell my plans. He listened to me, but when I said that I was going to N.Y., he thought that it was to go shopping and asked if it was interesting. But I replied that it was to live there, to look for a job in a theater. Dad was stunned, surprised and he
[pour etre honete je n'ai aucune idée de ce que vous essayiez de dire dans cette partie].
When he heard the news, he suddenly and totally changed his behaviour.
While he was in good mood at the beginning of the conversation he was suddenly acting like a military officer , preventing me from going out.
Then, he asked me that when I had taken that decision. I told that it was some time ago. In fact, I had bought my railway ticket that past wednesday.
But you know Dad, he tried to convince me to change my mind but I was adamant, and I stood my ground.
He said that he desired to discuss this reasonably, but I replied that with all due respect, this discussion was not necessary.
But that didn't prevent him from adding onto his opinion and he suggested that it wasn't healthy for a girl my age to venture to N.Y. for a career that might not exist all. He thought that I was unlikely to succeed.
I answered that you HAD gone to N.Y. without being sure of getting a job and that he had approved of that.
But Dad gave me one on his typical macho answer , that you were a man.
I told him how sexist that concept was.
He went on and said tha N.Y. was a filthy, wretched city, he had seen it many times . He finished by saying that , in such a city , I simply wouldn't be safe.
But he HAD to understand (il devait comprendre) that my choice was MADE, so I told him that I had considered it carefully, and that I was just informing him as a courtesy.
He replied to me with a real rancor that was thoughtful.[?!?!]
To finish , I told him that he knew Brodway was the only theater that mattered.
And that if I didn't try my luck to find out if I could have any success there, I would hate myself for the rest of my life.
He said that he wanted the best for me, a husband, a home and children.
But I replied very outraged that it was not his time and life we were talking about but MY life.
Finally, I have won, and Papa did not impose his will.
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