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Correction Text
Message de stef91 posté le 23-11-2009 à 20:24:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez vous m'aider pour la correction de mon texte s'il vous plait?
Can you help me for the correction of my text please?
Thank you!
The subject of my talk is the differents celebrations.£
The talk is in three parts
The first part is about the Christmas
The second part is about the New Year
The last part is about the Easter
And my opinion.
Let's start with the first part
Each year on the tewenty five of december. I celebrate with my family the Christmas. It's a religious celebration. We celebrate the birth of Jesus.
For the children it's a real pleasure because they receive a lot of gifts that Santa Claus has offered. For this celebration I eat good things for exemple turkeys, especially deserts...
And we eat a special meat " the andives" it's a door of hapipiness.
Second part is the New Year
New Year is also one week after Christmas. It's when we celebrate the New Year" For this occasion I celebrate this celebrations whit my family and my friends. It's my favorite celebrations. I receive money.
For thos occasion we eat especially desserts for example " Pesce" It's a italian dessert. I like that.
When it's midnigth there are the fireworks and the symbolise the " New Year". For this occasion we drink Champagne.
The last part is about the " Easter"
The Easter is when Jesus Ressurect. For this occasion my family come from Italy or my brother, mother, father, grand mother, my uncle and I going to Italy.
I have a little cousins and for to play whith them. I hide the eggs and my cousins must find the all eggs.
My oppinion
For me this differents celebrations are mot important because for this celebration my family are complet. I can see my family who is far. And I receive a lot of gifts. And also because me eat good for example especially deserts.
Message de stef91 posté le 23-11-2009 à 20:24:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez vous m'aider pour la correction de mon texte s'il vous plait?
Can you help me for the correction of my text please?
Thank you!
The subject of my talk is the differents celebrations.£
The talk is in three parts
The first part is about the Christmas
The second part is about the New Year
The last part is about the Easter
And my opinion.
Let's start with the first part
Each year on the tewenty five of december. I celebrate with my family the Christmas. It's a religious celebration. We celebrate the birth of Jesus.
For the children it's a real pleasure because they receive a lot of gifts that Santa Claus has offered. For this celebration I eat good things for exemple turkeys, especially deserts...
And we eat a special meat " the andives" it's a door of hapipiness.
Second part is the New Year
New Year is also one week after Christmas. It's when we celebrate the New Year" For this occasion I celebrate this celebrations whit my family and my friends. It's my favorite celebrations. I receive money.
For thos occasion we eat especially desserts for example " Pesce" It's a italian dessert. I like that.
When it's midnigth there are the fireworks and the symbolise the " New Year". For this occasion we drink Champagne.
The last part is about the " Easter"
The Easter is when Jesus Ressurect. For this occasion my family come from Italy or my brother, mother, father, grand mother, my uncle and I going to Italy.
I have a little cousins and for to play whith them. I hide the eggs and my cousins must find the all eggs.
My oppinion
For me this differents celebrations are mot important because for this celebration my family are complet. I can see my family who is far. And I receive a lot of gifts. And also because me eat good for example especially deserts.
Réponse: Correction Text de cecil_ward, postée le 24-11-2009 à 12:23:55 (S | E)
The subject of my talk is the differents celebrations.£
The talk is in three parts
The first part is about the Christmas
The second part is about the New Year
The last part is about the Easter
- no "the" after any of these festivals/times of the year
> Each year on the tewenty five of december.
"twenty fifth"
> I celebrate with my family the Christmas.
word order - I celebrate Christmas with my family
> they receive a lot of gifts that Santa Claus has offered.
wrong verb choice - "offer" isn't suitable here. (you perhaps mean "bring", "give")
> "turkeys" - more than one turkey? that's a lot to eat
> it's a door of hapipiness.
- don't understand
> I celebrate this celebrations
repetitive - verb and noun both from "celebrate"
> It's my favorite celebrations.
should be singular
> For thos occasion we eat especially desserts
"on" would be better than "for" here (as you did earlier)
> It's a italian dessert. I like that.
"Italian" - note English capitalisation requred here
> The Easter is when Jesus Ressurect.
the verb "to resurrect" means : to _cause_ someone/thing to become alive again
example: The aliens resurrected Captain Kirk and turned him into an evil monster.
but not *Captain Kirk resurrected and appeared in StarTrek 12 even though he died in StarTrek 7. (ungrammatical)
The difference is that this verb "resurrect" requires an agent but other verbs work differently
compare: the ice melted. and "he melted the ice on the stove" (agent) and "the heat melted the ice" (cause/agent) where all three are ok
So this would have to be "Jesus was resurrected" which is fine, or "rose again from the dead".
> I going to Italy. - "I go"
> I have a little cousins - cousin (sing.) ? or "I have little cousins" (pl.)
> and for to play whith them.
unclear - do you mean "I have cousins to play with"?
> I can see my family who is far.
- "far" is not suitable here; it's ungrammatical as used here and we need to rephrase. (Far can't be used in this way.) Need to think more about exactly what you want to say here.
> because me eat good for example especially deserts.
I eat well (adverb) (although good as an adverb is used in some dialects and in some fixed expressions)
"eat well" is an idiom, meaning "eat enough/plenty of food" or "eat good/healthy food"; example: I try to eat well. (=I eat healthy food.) / Grandma's not eating well I'm afraid (=poss she's not eating as has no appetite/desire)
Réponse: Correction Text de mapdark, postée le 28-11-2009 à 06:47:08 (S | E)
The subject of my presentation are the different celebrations.
The presentation is in three parts:
The first part is about Christmas.
The second part is about New Year.
The last part is about Easter.
And ends with my opinion about them.
Let's begin with the first part:
Each year on the twenty-fifth of december, I celebrate Christmas with my family. It's a religious celebration where we celebrate the birth of Jesus.
For children , it's a real pleasure because they receive a lot of gifts that Santa Claus has brought them . During this celebration I eat many good things , for example turkeys, especially desserts... (desert c'est pour le désert)
And we eat a special meat " the andives". It's a way to perfect bliss.
Second part is about New Year
New Year is also one week after Christmas. It's when we celebrate the arrival of a brand new Year. For this occasion I celebrate this with my family and my friends. It's my favorite holiday. I receive money.
For that occasion we eat mostly desserts. For example " Pesce" It's a italian dessert. I like that.
As soon as midnight strikes , there are fireworks that symbolise the " New Year". For this occasion we drink champagne.
The last part is about " Easter"
Easter is when Jesus resurected. For this occasion my family either comes from Italy or my brother, mother, father, grand mother, my uncle and I go there.
I have a younger cousins to play with. I hide the easter eggs and my cousins must find the all eggs.
My opinion
These differents holidays are mostly important to me because during these celebrations , my family is complete. I can see family members who live afar. And I receive a lot of gifts. And also because we eat a lot of good food , like desserts.
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