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Message de ctanguy posté le 14-12-2009 à 22:58:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour j'ai une rédaction pour jeudi et j'aimerai que vous regarder pour pouvoir me dire ce qui ne va pas. Merci d'avance.
How do you picture yourself in fifiteen years?
In fifteen years, I would be thirty-one years old and firstly I finished my studies. I will to exit of school and I would have a profession in publicity or for organize events, now I don’t know.
I would be married with F.J my boyfriend, he will be kind, nice, affectionate, surprising, he will love me; like he is at present.
I would have a big house in countryside with a big garden with a swimming pool.
I would love to have two children, one boy and one girl. I would like that they are wise and they work well at school. I would like that they play in the garden, in the swimming pool with their friends. I would be a good mother, I would love organize a party with my children for that they invite their friends. With my daughter we will prepare the meal and the game for their friends. Alone I prepare a Scavenger Hunt and others game for to enjoy the children.
That’s how I see my life in fifteen years and I hope to achieve this in any case I would do anything for that to happen.
Réponse: Your picture in fifteen years de brettdallen, postée le 14-12-2009 à 23:31:13 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Je signale ce qui ne va pas...
How do you picture yourself in fifiteen(orthographe) years?
In fifteen years, I would(pourquoi "will" au passé?) be thirty-one years old and firstly I finished my studies(mal dit! "et j'aurais fini mes études": "will" + "perfect"). I will to exit of("j'aurais quitté l'école": I + will + perfect!) school and I would have a profession in publicity(vérifiez "publicité"=domaine d'activité) or for organize events(je comprends, mais c'est mal tourné), now I don’t know.
I would be married with F.J my boyfriend, he will be kind, nice, affectionate, surprising, he will love me; like he is at present.
I would have a big house in (the)countryside with a big garden with (ou "and")a swimming pool.
I would love to have two children, one(ou "a") boy and one("a") girl. I would like that they are(vous ne connaissez peut-être pas: "I'd like them to be...") wise and they work well at school. I would like that they("them to play". Allez voir "proposition infinitive") play in the garden, in the swimming pool with their friends. I would be a good mother, I would love organize a party(pluriel) with my children for that(très mal dit) they invite their friends. With my daughter we will prepare the meal and the game for their friends. Alone I(will) prepare a Scavenger Hunt and others game for to enjoy the children(à revoir).
That’s how I see my life in fifteen years and I hope to achieve this in any case I would do anything for that to happen.
L'ensemble est bien sûr compréhensible, mais vous devez essayer d'éviter des structures calquées sur le français et au final très lourdes...
Bon travail!
Réponse: Your picture in fifteen years de gerondif, postée le 14-12-2009 à 23:34:20 (S | E)
bonsoir,
How do you picture yourself in fifiteen years?
In fifteen years, I would be (mettez au futur)thirty-one years old and first I finished (j'aurai fini: futur de have + participe passé de finish)my studies. I will to(construction du futur !) exit of school(mettez au futur: I am out of school) and I would(futur) have a profession in publicity or for(mauvais pour:mettez le verbe organize au futur: I will ...) organize events, now I don’t know.
I would(futur) be married with F.J my boyfriend, he will be kind, nice, affectionate, surprising, he will love me; like he is at present.
I would have a big house in countryside with a big garden with a swimming pool.
I would love(ok!) to have two children, one boy and one girl. I would like ( modèle: I would like them to work)that they are wise(signifie sage, rempli de sagesse philosophique, trouvez un autre adj) and they work well at school. I would like that they play (construction)in the garden, in the swimming pool with their friends. I would(futur) be a good mother, I would love to organize a party with my children for(remplacer par so: so that: afin que) that they (intercaler l'auxiliaire pouvoir)invite their friends. With my daughter we will prepare the meal and the game for their friends. Alone I (futur)prepare a Scavenger Hunt and other games for to enjoy the children.(mauvaise traduction. to please somebody: faire plaisir à quelqu'un)
That’s how I see my life in fifteen years and I hope to achieve this. In any case I would(futur ou conditionnel, à vous de voir) do anything for that to happen.
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