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Correction- forests
Message de polaris posté le 07-01-2010 à 01:17:26 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir, j'aurais besoin d'une petite correction; merci d'avance:
In this text the author tells us her story, to be exact her childhood. She says that her aunt had red hair for the sake of the iron ore. Iron ore is the big problem in this text, who originates of the destruction of forests in Australia. The consumer societies, become avaricious, are are the cause. The author presses out us her sadness at the sight of these new landscapes and her anxiety who she tells for the future generations. People are “destroying everything just to make money”.
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Edited by bridg on 07-01-2010 05:40
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Message de polaris posté le 07-01-2010 à 01:17:26 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir, j'aurais besoin d'une petite correction; merci d'avance:
In this text the author tells us her story, to be exact her childhood. She says that her aunt had red hair for the sake of the iron ore. Iron ore is the big problem in this text, who originates of the destruction of forests in Australia. The consumer societies, become avaricious, are are the cause. The author presses out us her sadness at the sight of these new landscapes and her anxiety who she tells for the future generations. People are “destroying everything just to make money”.
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Edited by bridg on 07-01-2010 05:40
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Réponse: Correction- forests de seb06000, postée le 07-01-2010 à 08:39:51 (S | E)
bonjour,
je vous indique les éventuelles corrections à apporter
:In this text the author tells us her story, to be exact( il manque une préposition => to talk *** ) her childhood. She says that her aunt had red hair for the sake of the iron ore . Iron ore is the big problem in this text, who originates( erreur de relatif et verbe à revoir) of the destruction of forests in Australia. The consumer societies, become avaricious, are are( un verbe en trop) the cause. The author presses out us her sadness at the sight of these new landscapes and her anxiety who(erreur de relatif) she tells for the future generations. People are “destroying everything just to make money”.
Voilà sous réserve d'une autre relecture
Amicalement
sébastien
Réponse: Correction- forests de polaris, postée le 07-01-2010 à 12:29:48 (S | E)
Tout d'abord merci.
In this text the author tells us her story, to be exact about her childhood. She says that her aunt had red hair for the sake of the iron ore . Iron ore is the big problem in this text, which is originally of the destruction of forests in Australia. The consumer societies, become avaricious, are the cause. The author presses out us her sadness at the sight of these new landscapes and her anxiety which she tells for the future generations. People are “destroying everything just to make money”.
Et comme ceci?
Réponse: Correction- forests de gerondif, postée le 07-01-2010 à 16:13:14 (S | E)
bonjour
In this text the author tells us her story, to be exact 1) about her childhood. She says that her aunt had red hair for the sake of the iron ore . Iron ore is the big problem in this text, 2) which is originally of the destruction of forests in Australia. The consumer societies, become avaricious, are the cause. The author 3) presses out us her sadness at the sight of these new landscapes and her anxiety which she tells for the future generations. People are “destroying everything just to make money”.
1) j'aurais mis le verbe fourni par Seb, she talks about, she tells us about, car sinon, vous juxtaposez deux constructions différentes pour un même verbe.
2) Le which est un peu loin de son antécédent et on comprend mal votre phrase,(l'adverbe en ly ne va pas derrière ce verbe être) je pense que vous vouliez dire : le minerai de fer est le gros problème de ce texte parce qu'il est à l'origine de la destruction.....
cela irait donc mieux avec because + un verbe comme to cause, to provoke, à moins de mettre la relative juste derrière iron ore.
3) presses out us , il me semble qu'il manque quelque chose, (on?)
Réponse: Correction- forests de polaris, postée le 07-01-2010 à 18:23:15 (S | E)
Bon alors si je reprends:
In this text the author tells us her story, to be exact she tells us about her childhood. She says that her aunt had red hair for the sake of the iron ore . Iron ore is the big problem in this text, because it causes the destruction of forests in Australia. The consumer societies, become avaricious, are the cause. The author presses out us her sadness at the sight of these new landscapes and her anxiety which she tells for the future generations. People are “destroying everything just to make money”.
Par contre en ce qui concerne "presses out us", je viens de vérifier dans le dictionnaire et le signification d' "exprimer" c'est ----> "to press out"; donc je pense que c'est bon. Sinon pour le reste?
Réponse: Correction- forests de gerondif, postée le 07-01-2010 à 19:25:47 (S | E)
bonsoir
In this text the author tells us her story, to be exact she tells us about her childhood. She says that her aunt had red hair for the sake of the iron ore . Iron ore is the big problem in this text, because it causes the destruction of forests in Australia. The consumer societies, become avaricious, are 1) the cause. The author 2)presses out us her sadness at the sight of these new landscapes and her anxiety which she 3)tells for the future generations. People are “destroying everything just to make money”.
1) essayez avec l'adjectif responsible for, ou alors "the cause for it" pour que la phrase se termine bien.
2) to convey to somebody : regardez le sens, to press out ne me dit rien, dans mon harraps, il "exprime" un jus de citron.
3) Selon moi, on ne raconte pas une anxiété, on l'exprime (to express).
Réponse: Correction- forests de polaris, postée le 07-01-2010 à 20:00:52 (S | E)
In this text the author tells us her story, to be exact she tells us about her childhood. She says that her aunt had red hair for the sake of the iron ore . Iron ore is the big problem in this text, because it causes the destruction of forests in Australia. The consumer societies, become avaricious, are the cause for it. The author conveys us her sadness at the sight of these new landscapes and her anxiety which she expresses for the future generations. People are “destroying everything just to make money”.
En ce qui concerne "to convey to somebody", j'ai communiquer, transférer ou bien véhiculer.
Sinon?
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