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Essay/ a portrait
Message de lolilola posté le 13-09-2010 à 21:26:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
je suis en seconde et j'ai une présentation à faire par écrit en anglais et euh ... bah elle est faite mais moi et l'anglais c'est pas super ! pourriez-vous la lire et me dire ce que ça donne, et éventuellement corriger les grosses fautes ?!
It is my identity ...
Hello, i'm a girl.
my first name is **** and my surname si ****.
Iwas born on 23th december 1995 in st ****
now, i live in st ****
-my mother is a business manager in the computing but she isn't english-speaking.
-my father your job is E.D.F agent and he isn't english-speaking.
I have one brother : your first name is **** he has 18 years old and your job is computing-technitien.
when i was middle school i'm gone in london for (1 semaine ?? )
I am of average height and not big
i have dark haired and short hair
i have a dread locks in my hair
i have brown eyes
i love a life, i'm happy
good qualities: i have strust in my friend in particularity in my boyfriend beacause he is far from my and i have fancy for exemple: i have more colours in my garment
flaws: i'm verry jealous y hate haven't reason with my mother for exemple.
I like reggae music (danakil....) , books , a like a life but i dislike football and classical music my hobbies is danse ( ragga ) and footing
my dream for the futur is : i will like go in africa and discover more contry. chartreuse is a name of the school i attended last year.
my farmer english teacher is **** and my average grade is 10/20
my vaforite subject is spanish ans french i don't like homework , i like teach (apprendre)
Merci d'avance.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-09-2010 21:30
+ titre
Message de lolilola posté le 13-09-2010 à 21:26:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
je suis en seconde et j'ai une présentation à faire par écrit en anglais et euh ... bah elle est faite mais moi et l'anglais c'est pas super ! pourriez-vous la lire et me dire ce que ça donne, et éventuellement corriger les grosses fautes ?!
It is my identity ...
Hello, i'm a girl.
my first name is **** and my surname si ****.
Iwas born on 23th december 1995 in st ****
now, i live in st ****
-my mother is a business manager in the computing but she isn't english-speaking.
-my father your job is E.D.F agent and he isn't english-speaking.
I have one brother : your first name is **** he has 18 years old and your job is computing-technitien.
when i was middle school i'm gone in london for (1 semaine ?? )
I am of average height and not big
i have dark haired and short hair
i have a dread locks in my hair
i have brown eyes
i love a life, i'm happy
good qualities: i have strust in my friend in particularity in my boyfriend beacause he is far from my and i have fancy for exemple: i have more colours in my garment
flaws: i'm verry jealous y hate haven't reason with my mother for exemple.
I like reggae music (danakil....) , books , a like a life but i dislike football and classical music my hobbies is danse ( ragga ) and footing
my dream for the futur is : i will like go in africa and discover more contry. chartreuse is a name of the school i attended last year.
my farmer english teacher is **** and my average grade is 10/20
my vaforite subject is spanish ans french i don't like homework , i like teach (apprendre)
Merci d'avance.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-09-2010 21:30
+ titre
Réponse: Essay/ a portrait de violet91, postée le 13-09-2010 à 23:12:21 (S | E)
Hellololilola !Je préconiserais de reprendre :
It is my identity (il y a une bien meilleure formule avec "introduce ")...
Hello, i'm a girl.
my first name is **** and my surname si (frappe) ****.
I was born on 23th (adj.numéral ordinal) december 1995 in st ****
now, i live in st ****
-my mother is a business manager in the computing but she isn't english-speaking either.(doesn't speak English)
-my father (works as or..) is (art.indéfini + voyelle)) E.D.F agent and he isn't english-speaking.
I have one brother : your(3eme sg.masc) first name is **** he has(v.être) 18 years old and your job is computing-technitien.
when i was middle(secundary ) school i'm gone (preterite)in(prép.mouvement) london for (traduire textuellement= recherche dict.)..
I am of average XX height and not big (adj "fat"? Plutôt dire : neither fat nor slim : or average)
i have dark (haired) and short hair
i have(= wear) a(0 pl) dread locks in my hair
i have brown eyes
i love a life(0 article devant nom abstrait), i'm happy
XX(mots-outils de liaison)good qualities: i have (s)trust in my friends in particularity(adv.) in my boyfriend because he is far from my(pronm pers.cplt) and i have fancy (???)for exemple: i have more colours in my garments (clothes?)
XXflaws(faults): i'm verry jealous y(English !) hate haven't (gérondif .être)reason(right? wrong, I suppose) with my mother for exemple.
I like reggae music (danakil....) , books , a like a life (????)but i dislike football and classical music . My hobbies is (pl.) danse(orth et -ing) ( ragga ) and footing
my dream for the futur is : i will(conditionnel) like go in africa and discover more contry(orth et pl). chartreuse is a(art.déf.) name of the school i attended last year.
my farmer(!!! former#previous) english teacher is **** and my average grade is 10/20
my vaforite(orth) subject is (pl)spanish ans french i
like (apprendre : autre verbe en -ing)
Voilà déjà de quoi bien améliorer..Il va falloir revoir les bases et être aidée (mise à niveau)."Je" en Anglais est définitivement I majuscule quelle que soit sa place !
Bon courage..cela ira mieux..: il y a des idées, des efforts.
Réponse: Essay/ a portrait de benboom, postée le 14-09-2010 à 00:15:41 (S | E)
Wow, nice job, Violet.
Réponse: Essay/ a portrait de violet91, postée le 14-09-2010 à 13:39:05 (S | E)
ever so much for your comment, benboom. Let us hope lolilola has a look at it, now ! Nice day ! Réponse: Essay/ a portrait de lolilola, postée le 14-09-2010 à 20:11:31 (S | E)
Bonjours, je suis en seconde et j'ai une présentation a faire par écrit en anglais.
Elle est faite mais moi et l'anglais c'est pas super! pouriez vous la lire et me dire se que sa donne et éventuellement corrigé les grosse faute ?!
It is my identity ...
- Hello, i'm a girl.
- my first name is **** and my surname si ****.
- I was born on 23th december 1995 in st **** now, i live in st ****
- my mother is a business manager in the computing but she isn't english
- my father your job is E.D.F agent and he isn't english-speaking.
- I have one brother : your first name is **** he has 18 years old and your job is computing-technitien.
- when i was middle school i'm gone in london for (1 semaine ?? )
- I am of average height and not big i am dark haired and short hair
- i have a dread locks in my hair
- i have brown eyes i love a life, i'm happy
- good qualities: i have strust in my friend in particularity in my boyfriend beacause he is far from my and i have fancy for exemple: i have more colours in my garment
- flaws: i'm verry jealous y hate haven't reason with my mother for exemple.
- I like reggae music (danakil....) , books , a like a life but i dislike football and classical music my hobbies is danse ( ragga ) and footing
- my dream for the futur is : i will like go in africa and discover more contry chartreuse is a name of the school i attended last year.
- my farmer english teacher is **** and my average grade is 10/20
- my vaforite subject is spanish ans french i don't like homework ,
- i like teach (apprendre)
merci d'avance
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Modifié par bridg le 14-09-2010 20:14
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