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Message de olyday posté le 21-12-2011 à 18:40:01 (S | E | F)
Hello,
J'ai un poster à faire sur la journée "Buy Nothing Day" ainsi qu'un petit texte pour présenter ce poster.
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger ce texte?
Je vous remercie par avance de l'aide que vous pourrez m'apporter!
First of all we can see the title situated at the top of the poster: "Buy Nothing Day". This operation started in 1992 by the Canadian Ted Dave with the slogan " enough is enough! " and was called at that time" No Shop Day ". Then, it was internationally started again by Adbusters which is at the same time a magazine and a foundation. This organism get involved in numerous social or political causes, whose most oppose to the mass consumption as the day "Buy Nothing Day" which took place this year on Saturday, November 26th and the purpose is to buy anything for 24 hours.
Then, the center of the poster shows a man in the supermarket who goes shopping. He takes place in front of a department of toilet paper. This department is filled in a multitude of sorts and brands of toilet paper. The character of the poster doesn’t know which toilet paper to choose, he hesitates.
To finish, the trolley next to him is full to the brim with a lot of products and we can see on the front of the trolley others informations concerning "Buy Nothing Day" with the date of this event as well as the slogan: " Reduce, Reuse, Recycle ". This is the 3R’s rule concerning the environment which has for objective to reduce the excessive consumption of the population.
Indeed, this poster tries to give a message against the consumer society because it ridicules the excessive and purchases which are generally useless. Furthermore, this poster criticizes the multiplicity of the brands for objects of the everyday life which requires in fact not several brands because their use remains the same whatever the brand.
To finish, the trolley accentuates the excessive purchase which characterizes the modern population. This day thus has for effect to protest against the degradation of the environment, the exploitation of the populations because 20 % of the world population consumes 80 % of the world resources or still the loss of the human values.
Thanks
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-12-2011 21:54
Réponse: Buy Nothing Day/correction de notrepere, postée le 21-12-2011 à 19:48:51 (S | E)
Bonjour
Je vous signale les fautes.
First of all, we can see the title situated at the top of the poster: "Buy Nothing Day". This operation started in 1992 by the Canadian Ted Dave with the slogan " enough is enough! " and was called at that time" No Shop Day ". Then, it was internationally started again by Adbusters which is
Then, the center of the poster shows a man in the supermarket who goes shopping. He takes place in front of a department of toilet paper. This department is filled in a multitude of sorts and brands of toilet paper. The character of the poster doesn’t know which toilet paper to choose, he hesitates.
To finish, the trolley next to him is full to the brim with a lot of products and we can see on the front of the trolley others informations concerning "Buy Nothing Day" with the date of this event as well as the slogan: " Reduce, Reuse, Recycle ". This is the 3R’s rule concerning the environment which has for objective to reduce
Indeed, this poster tries to give a message against the consumer society because it ridicules the excess
To finish, the trolley accentuates
Réponse: Buy Nothing Day/correction de olyday, postée le 21-12-2011 à 20:34:23 (S | E)
J'ai essayé de corriger ce que je pouvais mais pas tout :S
First of all we can see the title situated at the top of the poster: "Buy Nothing Day". This day started in 1992 by the Canadian Ted Dave with the slogan " enough is enough! " and was called at that time" No Shop Day ". Then, it was internationally started again by Adbusters which is both a magazine and a foundation. This organization got involved in numerous social or political causes, of which most opposed to the mass consumption as the day "Buy Nothing Day" which took place this year on Saturday, November 26th and the purpose is to buy nothing for 24 hours.
Then, the center of the poster shows a man in the supermarket who goes shopping. It takes place in front of a department of toilet paper (bog paper ? toilet tissue ? ). This department (ce que j’ai trouvé dans le dictionnaire) is filled in a multitude of sorts and brands of toilet paper (in a lot of sorts and brands ?). The character of the poster doesn’t know which toilet paper to choose, he hesitates.
To finish, the trolley next to him is full to the brim with a lot of products and we can see on the front of the trolley others information concerning "Buy Nothing Day" with the date of this event as well as the slogan: " Reduce, Reuse, Recycle ". This is the 3R’s rule concerning the environment which has for objective to reduce the excessive consumption of the population.
Indeed, this poster tries to give a message against the consumer society because it ridicules the excessive and purchases which are generally useless. Furthermore, this poster criticizes the multiplicity of the brands for objects of the everyday life which requires in fact not several brands because their use remains the same whatever the brand.
To finish, the trolley accentuates excessive purchasing which characterizes the modern population. The purpose of this day is thus to protest against the degradation of the environment, the exploitation of the populations because 20 % of the world population consumes 80 % of the world resources or still the loss of the human values.
Réponse: Buy Nothing Day/correction de notrepere, postée le 22-12-2011 à 05:50:38 (S | E)
re-bonjour
First of all we can see the title situated at the top of the poster: "Buy Nothing Day". This day started (1) in 1992 by the (2) Canadian Ted Dave with (3) the slogan " enough is enough! "[point] It was called at that time" No Shop Day ". Then, it was internationally (4) started again by Adbusters which is both a magazine and a foundation. This organization got involved in numerous social and political causes, of which most (5) were created to oppose mass consumption
Then (7), the center of the poster shows a man in the supermarket who goes shopping. It takes place in front of a department (8) of toilet paper.
To finish, the trolley next to him is full to the brim with a lot of products and we can see on the front of the trolley others information concerning "Buy Nothing Day" with the date of this event as well as the slogan: " Reduce, Reuse, Recycle ". This is the 3R’s rule concerning the environment which has
Indeed, this poster tries to give a message against the consumer society because it ridicules the excessive
To finish, the trolley accentuates excessive purchasing which characterizes the modern population. The purpose of this day is thus to protest against the degradation of the environment, the exploitation of the populations because 20 % of the world's population consumes 80 % of the world's resources or still the loss of the human values .
(1) Le verbe 'began' vaut mieux
(2) Je vous suggère de remplacer ces mots par le mot 'when'
(3) A remplacer par 'created'
(4) A placer après 'started again'
(5) A revoir l'ordre des mots
(6) au passé
(7) Vous avez déjà utilisé ce mot au début de la phrase précédente
(8) ce mot ne va pas; the toilet paper section?
(9) types
(10) une autre préposition
Réponse: Buy Nothing Day/correction de olyday, postée le 22-12-2011 à 10:24:59 (S | E)
Je vous remercie pour votre aide précieuse et pour le temps que vous y avez passé ! J'ai pu bien corriger et j'ai fait quelques recherches concernant "le rayon de papier toilette" en vain donc je vais laisser the toilet paper section.
Réponse: Buy Nothing Day/correction de lucile83, postée le 22-12-2011 à 10:58:06 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci de faire un double clic sur le mot clé et vous obtenez un dictionnaire en ligne qui vous donnera toutes les informations.
Cordialement.
toilet paper/tissue section est très bien comme a dit np
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