Getting ready/English test

Getting ready/English test
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Getting ready/English test
Message de majicb75 posté le 20-01-2013 à 16:28:50 (S | E | F)
Hello,

I need your help to improve my writing please. I'll have to ~~pass~~ take an English test ~~this~~ next Thursday and I’m a little nervous about the writing part.
I thought of using some of my papers that I had in college and trying to translate them in English. I went to a French speaking college and I think it’s going to be a good way to practise.
Thank you for your answers.

Here’s an abstract of one of my paper. I did my major in psychology.

Many risk factors are link to teenagers antisocial behavior and gang involvement. Environmental risk factors present since birth are the one who have the greater impact on the development of a child. Family risk factors like the school level of the parents, the IQ of the mother and the parents antisocial behavior , help us into a better understanding and help us predicting violent and antisocial behavior in the teenage years. Other risk factors present may be at the origin of adolescent antisocial behavior . These risk factors include individual risk factors especially cognitive difficulties like being able to see the relationship between actions and consequences, the way the adolescent adapt into new situations and the way he process new information. Risk factor can be categorize into five categories: individual characteristics, peers, family and community. A link has been establish between psychological factors, delinquency and severe and violent offending occurring later in life. These factors can be link to mental retardation or other behavior disorder like attention deficit disorder and certain antisocial and neurotic trait of personality, low adaptation capacities and a low level of functioning in school. Specialists in the field think that some externalize behavior like early deviant behavior, violence, aggressions and drug use are important predicting factors of future antisocial behavior.

Rarely, adolescent involve in street gang have protective factors. Reinforcing the protective factors play a major role into reducing the number of adolescent involve in street gang or improving the probabilities of an adolescent quitting a gang. Having positive peers , good intellectual abilities, good grades, support from his family , not getting involved in drug use, are all protective factors. Some protective factors are more effective than others.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-01-2013 16:39

Réponse: Getting ready/English test de stammer, postée le 20-01-2013 à 19:38:13 (S | E)
Hello,
I've had a look over your work and my corrections/suggestions are in red.
Do not forget that you must write "this is affected by" and not "this is affect by" etc. To be + past participle.

Here’s an ~~abstract~~extract of one of my papers. I did my major in psychology.

Many risk factors are link (check construction)to teenagers' antisocial behavior and gang involvement. Environmental risk factors present since birth are the ones who (who is personal, you need another word)have the greatest impact on the development of a child. Family risk factors like their parents' level of schooling, the IQ of the mother and the parents' antisocial behavior , help us to better understand and help us predicting (check grammar here - help us in prececting (not a word)or help us to predict) violent and antisocial behavior in ~~the~~ teenage years. Other risk factors that are present may also be at the origin of adolescent antisocial behavior . These risk factors include individual risk factors; especially cognitive difficulties, like being able to see the relationship between actions and consequences, the way the adolescent adapt (check conjugation) into new situations and the way he process (check conjugation) new information. Risk factors can be categorized into five categories: individual characteristics, peers, family and community (you have only listed four categories?). A link has been established between psychological factors, delinquency and severe and violent offending that occurs later in life. These factors can be linked to mental retardation or other behavioural disorders like attention deficit disorder and certain antisocial and neurotic personality traits, low adaptation capacities and a low level of functioning in school. Specialists in the field think that some externalize behavior (this does not make sense) like early deviant behavior, violence, aggressions and drug use are important in predicting factors of future antisocial behavior.

Rarely, adolescents involved in street gangs have protective factors. Reinforcing the protective factors play a major role in reducing the number of adolescents involve in street gangs or improving the probabilities of an adolescent quitting a gang. Having positive peers, good intellectual abilities, good grades, support from his family , not getting involved in drug use, are all protective factors. Some protective factors are more effective than others.

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