Lettre /correction

Lettre /correction
Message de cyril68 posté le 20-02-2013 à 23:39:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai pour devoir d'écrire une lettre en anglais, mon sujet étant :
You are Janet Allen’s neighbour with similar problems. Write to the council explaining your situation and asking them to find a solution.
Mon travail est le suivant :

Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the situation in north-east London, more precisely in hackney.

At the moment I have no job consequently I live in deserted house; this housing is unfit to live in because it’s unhygienic and bird intrusions are more and more frequently. I live with harmful animals, pigeons fly and eat in my kitchen and they bring with them flies and a lot of diseases consequently my health is very bad. Moreover my housing is run down but many people live in, for example Janet Allen my neighbour lives with her son in a top floor two-bedroom.

These conditions are the same conditions for almost all people in Hackney so in desperation peoples turn to theft, drug dealing and prostitution.

I am asking you to find solution at the problems. I know that Hackney Council refuses either to carry out repairs or to move people to another flat but there are others solutions for example hackney council can improve transports and helps to make this inner London district a living place. This action contributes to reduce a terrible record of homelessness and a better job rates in Hackney because this solution employ people of Hackney.

I would appreciate your immediate attention to this matter; I look forward to your response. Thank you.

Je voudrais donc savoir s'il y a des erreurs et si oui si vous pouviez me les corriger.
Merci d'avance,
cyril

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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-02-2013 08:16

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Réponse: Lettre /correction de notrepere, postée le 21-02-2013 à 01:39:44 (S | E)
Hello

Votre texte manque de ponctuation adéquate.

Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the situation in north-east London, more precisely in Hackney.

At the moment I have no job. Consequently, I live in a deserted house; this housing is unfit to live in because it’s unhygienic and bird intrusions are more and more frequently. I live with harmful animals: pigeons fly and eat in my kitchen and they bring with them flies and a lot of diseases. Consequently, my health is very bad. Moreover, my housing is run down but many people live in it. For example, Janet Allen my neighbour lives with her son in a top floor two-bedroom.

These conditions are the same conditions for almost all people in Hackney. So in desperation, peoples turn to theft, drug dealing and prostitution.

I am asking you to find a solution at(mauvaise préposition) the problems. I know that the Hackney Council refuses either to carry out repairs or to move people to another flat but there are others solutions. For example, Hackney Council can improve transports and helps to make this inner London district a living place. This action would contributes to reduce a terrible record of homelessness and a better job rates in Hackney because this solution involves the people of Hackney.

I would appreciate your immediate attention to this matter; I look forward to your response. Thank you.

je voudrais donc savoir si il y a des erreur et si oui si vous pouviez me les corriger.

merci d'avance,
cyril

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Réponse: Lettre /correction de cyril68, postée le 21-02-2013 à 11:51:14 (S | E)
merci

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