Correction / mail

Correction / mail
Message de klairou posté le 30-03-2013 à 14:55:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

J'ai écrit un mail pour aller dans une famille en Ecosse cet été et j'ai besoin de votre aide pour voir s'il y a des fautes d'orthographe ou de syntaxe s'il vous plait
Voici le mail :

"Hello,

We are a French couple and we are very interested in your offer. Working with you sounds very exciting because we love nature and gardening. Indeed, we belong to a community-supported agriculture in our food processing school so we are particularly aware of the benefit of organic vegetables. We both are used to garden with our family. We grew up in the countryside and we like taking care of animals.
Besides, we are curious to discover the Scottish culture because we have never been there before. We would like to share your way of life, we think it is the best way to improve our English and to discover a new culture.
Moreover we know Alexia and Marine who spent a few time with you next year. Indeed we are in the same school and they hardly recommended you to us as we are planning to spend time in Scotland.
Therefore, we would like to go working with you as Alexia and Marine did; that is to say form the beginning of July to mid-August.
Looking forward to meeting you soon,"

Merci d'avance ;)

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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-03-2013 15:04

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Réponse: Correction / mail de lucile83, postée le 01-04-2013 à 09:26:54 (S | E)
Hello,

Ce qui est en bleu est à revoir, en vert ce qui est plus juste

"Hello, ...un peu familier

We are a French couple and we are very interested in your offer. Working with you sounds very exciting because we love nature and gardening. Indeed, we belong to a community-supported agriculture in our food processing school so we are particularly aware of the benefit of organic vegetables. We both are used to garden with our family. We grew up in the countryside and we like taking care of animals.
Besides, we are curious to discover the Scottish culture because we have never been there before. We would like to share your way of life, as we think it is the best way to improve our English and to discover a new culture.
Moreover we know Alexia and Marine who spent a few time with you next year. Indeed we are in the same school and they hardly recommended you to us as we are planning to spend time in Scotland.
Therefore, we would like to go working with you as Alexia and Marine did; that is to say form the beginning of July to mid-August.
Looking forward to meeting you soon,"
oops vous semblez 'forcer la main'...We look forward to reading your reply.

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Réponse: Correction / mail de gerondif, postée le 02-04-2013 à 22:18:47 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
en plus des corrections de Lucile:
Indeed, we belong to a community-supported agriculture in our food processing school
Comment peut-on "appartenir" à une agriculture ? We practise....
so we are particularly aware of the benefit of organic vegetables.
We are both used to garden (au gérondif, ing!) with our family.

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