Correction/Sports

Correction/Sports
Message de nelcar posté le 14-05-2013 à 21:08:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

pouvez-vous corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît?
Merci pour vos réponses.

partie 1 : le document
this document represents a page of a local newspaper of sports called ' the page of sports '. To the left, an article while concerning the contract which CRISTIANO RONALDA signed with Réal of MADRID for a 96 million euro sum. Somebody gets worried to see the price of tickets augmenting and that as a result nobody will soon be able to have means to go to see it playing. Other one does not understand that they can give to somebody so much silver while many persons are jobless in Spain.
- underneath this article, somebody of Toronto complains about the increase of tickets since its youth, that he cannot give free time to his two children
- above to the right, there is a picture of the wages of the athletes best paid in the world. In first Tiger Woods, the golfer is who earned 75 million dollars in 2010
- underneath this picture, a graph shows the importance of the increase of the price of the tickets of different sports from 1994 till 2010
QUESTIONS
1) I play basketball, it is true that mentality notably changed a lot the report with silver. I prefer participating in matchs therefore to be active, however I really like to enlarge in other sports as tennis or the motor racing by watching TV.
2) sports play for me a role mattering in daily life: at level education towards the young persons when they start sports, at level health because he makes diminish certain risks of illness and allows to maintain form for the oldest; collective sports allow the study of job together and respect for the opponent. For certain age, sports allow to continue getting exercise and to have a good time between friends without forcing.
3) I think that there is a big inequality between all different sports because some are more mediatized than others. Many people still remain at the amateur stadium where from disproportion. It is not normal in my view that a sportsman earns tremendously more than a doctor who saves him lives and works much more for a long time than the sportsmen. Of more the majority of the athletes as coaches are then converted or sports reporter and not excuses it therefore for having a short career.
4) Yes, I think that they could give a little of their time and help financially. Without their fans, they would not be any more big thing, clubs would have less silver and therefore pay their players less. Also, they could help actively by playing an associative role by creating sports areas approachable to all free. Furthermore they could invert physically, by coming to initiate the young persons in their respective sports.
5) the author thinks that when a club is composed of a group of 'stars ' with big wages, these are to buy themselves the championship. The club is not any more a team but stars' collection overpaid. Unfortunately these so dear bought players, make augment the price of tickets, what implicates that the fans have no more means to buy these tickets and that their medium fall. As a result, the more the player costs a lot, the more you must pay to come to see it.
6) According to the comparative picture, RONALDO is not the most paid player. They are six better paid players than him. TIGER WOODS is the richest athlete in the world. RONALDO wins less than DAVID BECKHAM but receives a more important wage than LIONEL MESSI.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-05-2013 21:15

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Réponse: Correction/Sports de gnanga, postée le 16-05-2013 à 11:52:00 (S | E)
Hello dear Nelcar,

This document represents a page press review or magazine of a local newspaper of sports newspaper sport or sports paper called ' the page of sports '( a title of magazine always in capital letter). To the left, an article which concerning ( past tense) the contract which signed by CRISTIANO RONALDO signed with Réal of MADRID (capital letter) for a sum of 96 million euro sum. Somebody gets (be in past tense) worried to see an increase in the prices of tickets augmenting and that as a result nobody will soon be (bad tense) able to have( have aticket or buy it) means to go to see and watch it playing. Other one does not (past tense) understand that they can will prefer (is better)to give to somebody so much silver (inverness) while many persons are jobless in Spain.
- Following to this article, somebody of Toronto complains about the increase of tickets since its youth, that he cannot give spare (better) time to his two children
- above to the right, there is a shedule or table of the wages of the athletes best paid in the world (badly said). In first Tiger Woods, a golfer is who earned 75 million dollars in 2010
- underneath (another preposition) this picture, a graph shows ( bad tense) the importance of the increase of the price of the tickets of different sports from 1994 till 2010

Good luck

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Modifié par gnanga le 16-05-2013 11:54

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Réponse: Correction/Sports de nelcar, postée le 16-05-2013 à 13:19:56 (S | E)
Merci GNANGA pour ta réponse.
Peux-tu me vérifier le reste STP
si tu as besoin en français n'hésites pas

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Réponse: Correction/Sports de nelcar, postée le 16-05-2013 à 13:20:54 (S | E)
il faut vérifier aussi les questions, en réalité se sont les réponses aux questions que l'on m'avait posé. Merci encore

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Réponse: Correction/Sports de gnanga, postée le 22-05-2013 à 18:50:44 (S | E)
Hi NELCAR

The errors are in blue color and suggestions in green color:

1) I play basketball, it is true that mentality(what do you mean in french) notably changed a lot the report with silver. I would rather participating in games therefore in order to be active, however I really like to enlarge(in french) in other sports like tennis or the motor racing by watching TV.
2) s(capital letter) ports play for me a role mattering in daily life: at level education from an educational point of view is better towards the young persons when they start sports, at level health from a medical point of view because he reduces certain risks of illness and allows to maintain form for the oldest; team sports allow the study of job together and respect for the opponent(in french). For certain age, sports allow to continue getting exercise and spending time between friends without forcing.
3) I think that there is a big inequality between all different games because some of them are more mediatized than others. Many people still remain at the amateur stadium where from disproportion(in french). It is not normal in from my point of view that a sportsman earns tremendously more than a doctor who saves him lives and works much more for a long time than the sportsmen. Moreover the majority of the athletes as coaches are then converted (in french) or sports reporter and not excuses it therefore for having a short career.

Good luck
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Modifié par gnanga le 22-05-2013 18:51

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Réponse: Correction/Sports de nelcar, postée le 22-05-2013 à 21:11:38 (S | E)
Merci GNANGA. Peux-tu me corriger les réponses aux questions 4 , 5 et 6 soit :
4) Yes, I think that they could give a little of their time and help financially. Without their fans, they would not be any more big thing, clubs would have less silver and therefore pay their players less. Also, they could help actively by playing an associative role by creating sports areas approachable to all free. Furthermore they could invert physically, by coming to initiate the young persons in their respective sports.
5) the author thinks that when a club is composed of a group of 'stars ' with big wages, these are to buy themselves the championship. The club is not any more a team but stars' collection overpaid. Unfortunately these so dear bought players, make augment the price of tickets, what implicates that the fans have no more means to buy these tickets and that their medium fall. As a result, the more the player costs a lot, the more you must pay to come to see it.
6) According to the comparative picture, RONALDO is not the most paid player. They are six better paid players than him. TIGER WOODS is the richest athlete in the world. RONALDO wins less than DAVID BECKHAM but receives a more important wage than LIONEL MESSI.

Merci beaucoup pour ta correction
Les panneaux jaunes à point d'exclamation noires ça veut dire quoi ?
bonne soirée et merci encore

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Réponse: Correction/Sports de gnanga, postée le 23-05-2013 à 16:29:32 (S | E)
Hi,

and underlined sentence means that you have to espress it in french.

4) Yes, I think that they could give a little of their time and help financially. Without their fans, they would not be any more big thing nothing,(article) clubs would(futur simple) have less silver and therefore the players are less paid. Also, they could help actively by playing an associative role by creating sports fields approachable to all free free of charge for all (is better). Furthermore they could invert physically, by coming to initiate the young persons in their respective sports.
5) The author thinks that when a club has a full of celebrities having an important wages, these are to buy themselvesenough to win the championship. The club is no longer a team but stars' collection overpaid(badly said). Unfortunately these so dear bought players,rising prices of tickets, what implicates that the fans cannot afford to buy these tickets and consequently their medium fall. Hence or to sum up, the more the player is famous, the more you have to pay to watch it playing.
6) According to the comparative picture, RONALDO is not the most paid player. They are six better paid players than him. TIGER WOODS is the richest athlete in the world. RONALDO wins less than DAVID BECKHAM but receives a more important wage than LIONEL MESSI.

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Réponse: Correction/Sports de nelcar, postée le 23-05-2013 à 21:05:06 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup GNANGA
Si tu as besoin en français, n'hésite pas.
A plus

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