Aide /lettre motivation

Aide /lettre motivation
Message de nanibouh posté le 17-05-2013 à 19:27:05 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Je dois rédiger une lettre de motivation pour rentrer en section européenne l'année prochaine. Je l'ai rédigée et j'aimerais avoir votre avis, me dire s'il y a des fautes, si une autre tournure de phrase serait préférable, ce que je pourrais rajouter... La voici :
Objet: Intégrer la classe européenne du Lycée

To whom it may concern,
I am writing this letter in order to show you my motivation to integrate the high school’s english european section.
I am currently in the European section of Saint Adrien’s junior high school and I am convinced that speaking english fluently is very important for work and that it would be a real advantage for my higher education, that’s why I really want to continue.
I like travelling abroad very much : I have already been in anglophone countries and I am very interested in going back or visiting other ones.
I know that European section would give me more work but I am serious and hard-working, that’s the reason why I think that I could perfectly fit into this section.
Thank you very much for your attention.

Merci beaucoup,
Nanibouh

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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-05-2013 21:25

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Réponse: Aide /lettre motivation de hushpuppy, postée le 17-05-2013 à 20:58:58 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Il y a des petites corrections en bleu :

To whom it may concern,
I am writing this letter in order to show you(autre mot, qui commence avec "d") my motivation to integrate ----(préposition) the(possessif) high school’s english european(majuscules) section.
I am currently in the European section of Saint Adrien’s junior high school and I am convinced that speaking english(majuscule) fluently is very important for work and that it would be a real advantage for my higher education, that’s why I really want to continue.
I ----(mot d'ajouter de l'autre phrase) like travelling abroad very much :(autre ponctuation) I have already been in(autre préposition) anglophone(majuscule) countries and I am very interested in going back or visiting other ones.
I know that ---(article) European section would give me more work_(ponctuation) but I am serious and hard-working,(autre ponctuation) that’s(majuscule) the reason why I think that I could perfectly fit into this section.
Thank you very much for your attention(plus commun : time and attention)

Très bien, bonne journée

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Réponse: Aide /lettre motivation de nanibouh, postée le 19-05-2013 à 16:46:15 (S | E)
Voilà j'ai corrigé ce que je pouvais :

To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter in order to show you my motivation to integrate the high school’s English European section.

I am currently in the European section of Saint Adrien’s junior high school and I am convinced that speaking English fluently is very important for work and that it would be a real advantage for my higher education, that’s why I really want to continue.
I like travelling abroad very much, I have already been to anglophone countries and I am very interested in going back or visiting other ones.
I know that the European section would give me more work but I am serious and hard-working. That’s the reason why I think that I could perfectly fit into this section.

Thank you very much for your time and attention


Merci

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Réponse: Aide /lettre motivation de hushpuppy, postée le 19-05-2013 à 17:44:38 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Alors les choses qui restent sont corrigées :

To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter in order to demonstrate my motivation to integrate into your high school’s English European section.

I am currently in the European section of Saint Adrien’s junior high school and I am convinced that speaking English fluently is very important for work and that it would be a real advantage for my higher education, that’s why I really want to continue.
I also like travelling abroad very much, I have already been to Anglophone countries and I am very interested in going back or visiting other ones.
I know that the European section would give me more work, but I am serious and hard-working. That’s the reason why I think that I could perfectly fit into this section.

Thank you very much for your time and attention

Bonne chance et bonne journée

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Réponse: Aide /lettre motivation de nanibouh, postée le 19-05-2013 à 22:12:50 (S | E)

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