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Message de melou1994 posté le 15-05-2014 à 16:19:08 (S | E | F)
Hello,
I have been chosen to go to England next year and I want to send a correct letter to my furure university. Please help me, if you see mistakes or if you have any idea about how to improve my sentences, please let me know! I'm aware that there are a lot of mistakes so I'm waiting for your help.
Thank you for your answers.
Here is what I wrote:
Dear Sir or Madam
I am currently a student at the university XXX in second year of Bachelor Degree of foreign languages (Langue Etrangères Appliquées) and I hope to study at xxx University the next year.
I choose xxx University for different reasons. First I am culturally attracted by the city of xxx, its architecture, its population, its history, etc. Then I thought xxx University was the best place to improve my English in different ways as it offers a wide range of courses and lots of international services for foreign students. Finally, I plan to enrol in a lot of extra-scholar activities, which can help me making the best of my student year at xxx University.
I decided to follow courses from the department of English and languages and the department of international studies and social sciences because it fits perfectly with my initial academic program and for the fact that they are the subjects in which I have always been interested.
I wish xxx University will give me the opportunity to realise this part of my project concerning my career path. I can already assure you that if you give me that chance, I will do my best to success. Indeed, I plan to work for an international or foreign organisation or company. A project that I have always had is to work in journalism, and I hope, to perform this function in Great Britain. I am certain that studiing for a year at xxx University will give me both the human capacities and the knowledge I need to reach my objectives.
I thank you for the attention you paid to my letter and look forward to hearing from you.
Regards
Yours faithfully
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 15-05-2014 21:31
Don't repeat the name of the university so often....>> xxx university
Message de melou1994 posté le 15-05-2014 à 16:19:08 (S | E | F)
Hello,
I have been chosen to go to England next year and I want to send a correct letter to my furure university. Please help me, if you see mistakes or if you have any idea about how to improve my sentences, please let me know! I'm aware that there are a lot of mistakes so I'm waiting for your help.
Thank you for your answers.
Here is what I wrote:
Dear Sir or Madam
I am currently a student at the university XXX in second year of Bachelor Degree of foreign languages (Langue Etrangères Appliquées) and I hope to study at xxx University the next year.
I choose xxx University for different reasons. First I am culturally attracted by the city of xxx, its architecture, its population, its history, etc. Then I thought xxx University was the best place to improve my English in different ways as it offers a wide range of courses and lots of international services for foreign students. Finally, I plan to enrol in a lot of extra-scholar activities, which can help me making the best of my student year at xxx University.
I decided to follow courses from the department of English and languages and the department of international studies and social sciences because it fits perfectly with my initial academic program and for the fact that they are the subjects in which I have always been interested.
I wish xxx University will give me the opportunity to realise this part of my project concerning my career path. I can already assure you that if you give me that chance, I will do my best to success. Indeed, I plan to work for an international or foreign organisation or company. A project that I have always had is to work in journalism, and I hope, to perform this function in Great Britain. I am certain that studiing for a year at xxx University will give me both the human capacities and the knowledge I need to reach my objectives.
I thank you for the attention you paid to my letter and look forward to hearing from you.
Regards
Yours faithfully
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 15-05-2014 21:31
Don't repeat the name of the university so often....>> xxx university
Réponse: Letter Erasmus/ aide de gerondif, postée le 15-05-2014 à 19:36:33 (S | E)
Hello,
mistakes in blue
Dear Sir or Madam
I am currently a student at the university XXX in second year of Bachelor Degree of foreign languages (Langue Etrangères Appliquées) and I hope to study at xxx University the next year.
I choose (preterite) xxx University for different reasons. First I am culturally attracted by the city of xxx, its architecture, its population, its history, etc. Then I thought xxx University was the best place to improve my English in different ways as it offers a wide range of courses and lots of international services for foreign students. Finally, I plan to enrol in a lot of extra-scholar activities, which can help me making the best of my student year at xxx University.
I decided to follow courses from the department of English and languages and the department of international studies and social sciences because it(they?) fits perfectly with my initial academic program and for the fact that they are the subjects in which I have always been interested.
I wish(hope) xxx University will give me the opportunity to realise this part of my project concerning my career path. I can already assure you that if you give me that chance(opportunity?), I will do my best to success.(you need the verb, not the noun) Indeed, I plan to work for an international or foreign organisation or company. A project that I have always had is to work in journalism, and I hope to perform this function in Great Britain. I am certain that studiing for a year at xxx University will give me both the human capacities and the knowledge I need to reach my objectives.
I thank you for the attention you paid to my letter and look forward to hearing from you.
Regards
Yours faithfully
Réponse: Letter Erasmus/ aide de rkjs58, postée le 16-05-2014 à 06:16:08 (S | E)
Hi,
You cannot use 2 complementary close (regards, sincerely) at the end of a letter. Choose the appropriate one.
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