Correction/Cover Letter

Correction/Cover Letter
Message de ohyeah posté le 13-12-2014 à 19:20:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en train de postuler pour un stage en GB, et j'aimerais avoir votre avis sur cette lettre de motivation.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
Cordialement

Dear Sir or Madam

I’m looking for a 3 month work placement as Sales Associate within a sporting store. I am writing to you in anticipation that you may have vacancies. I always been interested by commercial sport sector, this traineeship will be an opportunity to work in a field who correspond to my hobbies.

Through my two years degree in internship, I have been able to work through different aspect of selling.
During my first year, as Sales Advisor, I improved my salesman skills by understanding issues of sales, learned methods of selling and the importance of customer’s satisfaction.
During my second year, as Assistant Manager I had a more global point of view and understood the importance of a skilled sales team. I also had the opportunity to improve my selling skills by promoting product to customers with commercials events.

Reactive and curious, I’m seeking for a job who conciliate my sense of commerce and my passion for sports. This traineeship will be my first international experience in a field that a like. My adaptability and my determination will be essential to take up this challenge.

I hope in my application of interest to you and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future. Please find enclosed my CV where you will find further information.
Yours faithfully

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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-12-2014 21:12

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Réponse: Correction/Cover Letter de yaya18, postée le 13-12-2014 à 20:22:26 (S | E)
Hello ohyeah,

Dear Sir or Madam

I’m looking for a 3 month work placement as Sales Associate within a sporting store. I am writing to you in anticipation that you may have vacancies. I X always been interested by (mauvaise préposition) commercial sport sector, this traineeship will be an opportunity to work in a field who correspond to my hobbies.

Through my two years degree in internship, I have been able to work through (répétition, essaye de changer de mot) different aspect (pluriel) of selling.
During my first year, as Sales Advisor, I improved my salesman skills by understanding issues of sales, learned methods of selling and the importance of customer’s satisfaction.
During my second year, as Assistant Manager I had a more global point of view and understood the importance of a skilled sales team. I also had the opportunity to improve my selling skills by promoting product to customers with commercials events.

Reactive and curious, I’m seeking for a job who conciliate my sense of commerce and my passion for sports. This traineeship will be my first international experience in a field that a like. My adaptability and my determination will be essential to take up this challenge.

I hope in my application of interest to you and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future. Please find enclosed my CV where you will find further information.
Yours faithfully

See you later

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