Aide/lettre motivation

Aide/lettre motivation
Message de mayaloulou posté le 17-01-2015 à 02:28:20 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Je sollicite votre aide car je viens de rédiger une lettre de motivation qui me semble correcte mais je n'ai personne pour la relire. Pouvez-vous me donner votre avis et m'apporter votre aide pour les éventuelles corrections ? Pensez-vous que je devrais y ajouter quelque chose ?
Je vous remercie d'avance !!

Dear Hiring Manager,

As an enthusiastic individual who is ready to take new challenges, I was excited to learn about the current opening for a XXXX with your organisation, and feel I have the requirements you are seeking. Since my two years’ work experience is largely related with marketing, customers care and promotional activities, I believe that I have a lot to contribute to XXX Company.

I am a French national currently living in Paris. I graduated with a Master’s degree in Marketing, and was keen to start my professional working career in a variety of roles and industries located in my hometown. As you will see from the attached resume, I hold several positions from the marketing assistant to the junior advertising manager which allowed me to perform a huge array of tasks including; building partnership developments, organising high-profile events, participating in production of advertising materials, generating ideas for promotional activities, assisting with requests for proposals, and gathering relevant data. Your selection criteria stipulate that you require a good understanding of XXXXXXX and I think my profile match your expectations.

I am used to and enjoy international settings thanks to my professional backgrounds and my passion for travelling. I have a good convesational English and I am currently learning Spanish and German. Working at XXXX would allow me to continue developing my business skills in a large international organisation.

Given my international background, experience in customers care, and strong language skills, I am confident that I would make an excellent addition to your XXXXX team. I am available to visit London for an interview at my own expense. I would appreciate the chance to meet with you to discuss what I could bring to your company.

I can be reached at 00 33 xxx xxx xxx if I may provide you with any additional information.

Sincerely,

My Name

P.S. Thank you in advance for your consideration, I look forward to meeting you shortly.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-01-2015 07:41

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Réponse: Aide/lettre motivation de mayaloulou, postée le 20-01-2015 à 02:52:03 (S | E)
Personne pour m'aider ??

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Réponse: Aide/lettre motivation de bluestar, postée le 20-01-2015 à 11:07:46 (S | E)
Bonjour..
Attention of Recruitment Manager

Dear Hiring Manager Sir,

As an enthusiastic individual who is ready to take accept new challenges, I was excited to learn about the current opening for a XXXX with your organisation, and feel I have the requirements you are seeking. Since my two years’ work experience is largely related with marketing, customers care and promotional activities, I believe that I have a lot to contribute to XXX Company.

I am a French national currently living in Paris. I graduated with a Master’s degree in Marketing, and was keen to start my professional working career in a variety of roles and industries located in my hometown. As you will see from the attached resume, I hold (temps?) several positions from the marketing assistant to the junior advertising manager which allowed me to perform a huge array of tasks including; building partnership developments, organising high-profile events, participating in production of advertising materials, generating ideas for promotional activities, assisting with requests for proposals, and gathering relevant data. Your selection criteria stipulate that you require a good understanding of XXXXXXX and I think my profile match (accorde?) your expectations.

I am used to and enjoy international settings thanks to my professional backgrounds and my passion for travelling. I have a good conversational English and I am currently learning Spanish and German. Working at XXXX would allow me to continue developing my business skills in a large international organisation.

Given my international background, experience in customers care, and strong language skills, I am confident that I would make an excellent addition to your XXXXX team. I am available to visit London for an interview at my own expense. I would appreciate the chance to meet with you to discuss what I could bring to your company.

I can be reached at 00 33 xxx xxx xxx if I may provide you require with any additional information.

Thank you in advance for your consideration, I look forward to meeting you shortly.

Sincerely,Yours faithfully

My Name

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Errors are in blue, suggestions in green. It is better not to have a postscript (PS) in a business letter. It looks a bit careless.
"Yours sincerely" is used when you have addressed the recipient by name; "Yours faithfully" otherwise.

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Réponse: Aide/lettre motivation de mayaloulou, postée le 23-01-2015 à 13:41:51 (S | E)
Thank you so much for the help !!!!

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