Oral/Idea of progress
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basMessage de rominai25 posté le 27-04-2015 à 14:11:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aurais besoin de vos talents de bilingues afin de voir si le paragraphe que j'ai écrit n'est pas rempli de fautes mais surtout si pour vous tout est compréhensible et si tout se suit bien dans le déroulement de la lecture. Je vous serais très reconnaissant de vos réponses.
Merci d'avance.
What do represent the evolution of technology for human?
I’m going to deal with the idea of progress. For many years technologies has never stopped evolving in the world in several area .For example through the internet, thanks to social networks like Facebook, or cellphones and more. We can wonder if evolution of technology is good or not for the future of humanity? So we will see firstly, what the goal of these technologies are then what type of evolution these social networks technologies can bring, and finally we will ask if it's a good thing or not for the human society.
So the goal of technology is to contribute to making the world a better place. Keep the life more easily to live. Fight the misery, disease. Generally technology is defined such as good and essential for the human for adapting of his environment. Because human is too weak for live in the nature without transform him, I need to do.
Social network is a part of evolution of technology in the area of communication. Obviously today many people use social network to communicate rather than meeting a person in real life because they're afraid. But other ways to communicate exist, we can use cellphones, letters but I think it's too long and boring but it can be cool, or go to meet in real life with a Neastly coffee. Facebook and Twitter are the most popular social network in the world. Why do people use them? So they use them mainly to communicate, but also to share media with their friends, create an event around a common cause like the famine, to be able to meet and find person, build a relationship, share their opinion. It's possible to do many things with them. They can be used to organize flash mobs for a common cause, and this very fast and instantly.
However social networks are not always positive. Some people use them like a second life, they don't live in the real world so they hide in a dream world that social network represent. People can know all about your life, where you live for example, social networks are not so private as we can imagine. And more some students have been insulted and after that they committed a suicide. It's a very dark idea. There are also Flash mobs which gather people around a common cause can be used for bad reasons, like robbing stores. Another negative point is: People stay glued to their mobile and don’t look around us. They live in their own bubble and don’t communicate with people around. Which restrict exchanges between people. They’re so obsess that they wake up earlier for checking if they weren’t miss something status. It’s absolutely crazy how we can became dependent of this new technology. The worst is new technology permit to do many things like playing video game or surf on the net, people had never be so dependent of technology and all which is connected. And now we note our children is infected, since their young age parent give use cellphones, iPad. We need to give the opportunity to enjoy nature and play outdoors as a part of their education.
To conclude, technology has more negative point than positive. Technology link many sphere in society like education, communication. We can say that social network can be used in different ways and that could be good or not if it is used wrongly or not. One may actually wonder if we need networks to communicate. Progress have many definition in the society, progress is not always a movement in the right direction. We are the root of this evolution. So I will give you my definition of the progress: progress is hope, progress is education, progress is medical, progress is evolution.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-04-2015 15:50
Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de rominai25, postée le 29-04-2015 à 10:55:31 (S | E)
Up ! :/
Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de gerondif, postée le 29-04-2015 à 12:51:49 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
What do represent(revoir la formation de la forme interrogative au présent) the evolution of technology for human(est un adjectif, mettez people derrière)?
I’m going to deal with the idea of progress. For many years technologies has(pluriel) never stopped evolving in the world in several area(derrière plusieurs, un pluriel irait bien) .For example through the internet, thanks to social networks like Facebook, or cellphones and more(sens?). We can wonder if this evolution of technology is good or not for the future of humanity? So we will see firstly, what the goal of these technologies are, then what type of evolution these social networks technologies can bring, and finally we will ask(wonde, se demander, irait mieux) if it's a good thing or not for the human society.
So(bizarre en début de phrase) the goal of technology is to contribute to making the world a better place. Keep the life more easily(la vie est plus facile à vivre, pas plus facilement à vivre) to live. Fight the misery, disease. Generally speaking, technology is defined such(supprimer) as good and essential for the human(human est un adjectif, pas de the dans les généralisations) for adapting of his environment. Because human is too weak for(allez voir le cours sur pour + verbe dans les sujets de leavar) live in the nature without(+ ing) transform him(qui est ce him, personnage masculin vivant ?), I need to do(sens de cette phrase isolée?).
Social network is a part of the evolution of technology in the area of communication. Obviously today many people use social network to communicate rather than meeting a person in real life because they're afraid. But other ways to communicate exist, we can use cellphones, letters but I think it's too long and boring but it can be cool(un peu léger comme raisonnement), or go to and meet people in real life with a Neastly coffee. Facebook and Twitter are the most popular social network(pluriel) in the world. Why do people use them? So(vous confondez avec "Well", eh bien) they use them mainly to communicate, but also to share media with their friends, create an event around a common cause like the famine, to
However, social networks are not always positive. Some people use them like a second life, they don't live in the real world so they hide in a dream world that social networks represent. People can know all about your life, where you live for example, social networks are not so private as we can imagine. And more( de plus se dit moreover) some students have been insulted and after that they committed a(un seul? ) suicide. It's a very dark idea. There are also Flash mobs which gather people around a common cause//rupture de construction ici, quel est le sujet de can ?) can be used for bad reasons, like robbing stores. Another negative point is: People stay glued to their mobile and don’t look around us(autour d'eux, pas de nous). They live in their own bubble and don’t communicate with people around,(virgule) which restrict exchanges between people. They’re so obsess (participe passé) that they(ne se dit pas) wake up earlier for checking(voir le cours sur pour + verbe chez leavar) if they weren’t miss(si ils n'ont rien raté, auxiliaire avoir + participe passé) something status(sens ?). It’s absolutely crazy how we can became(participe passé) dependent of on this new technology. The worst is that the new technology permit(mauvais choix de verbe + le s du présent) to do many things like playing video games or surf(gérondif, ing) on the net, people had never be(participe PASSE) so dependent of technology and all which is connected. And now we note our children is(pluriel!!) infected, since their young age ,parent(pluriel) give use cellphones, iPad. We need to give(mauvais choix de verbe ou alors à l'infinitif passif) the opportunity to enjoy nature and play outdoors as a part of their(vous commencez par we, vous terminez par their, il faut choisir) education.
To conclude, technology has more negative points than positive (ordre des mots à revoir). Technology link(le S) many sphere(derrière many, mettez un pluriel) in society like education, communication. We can say that social networks can be used in different ways and that could be good or not if they are used wrongly or not. One may actually wonder if we need networks to communicate. Progress have(singulier) many definition(pluriel) in
Réponse: Oral/Idea of progress de rominai25, postée le 30-04-2015 à 20:27:16 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre réponse, je corrige tous ça.
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