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Message de alsta posté le 30-04-2015 à 11:04:32 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je passe mon oral d'anglais dans moins d'un mois et j'aurais voulu que quelqu'un corrige mon texte (ce n'est qu'une partie) car on va dire que l'anglais n'est pas ma matière dominante.
Alors si quelqu'un a le courage de me corriger je lui en serais extrêmement reconnaissant.
In order to begin my presentation about seats and forms of power, it will be necessary for me to define what power means. In the dictionary, power refers to the ability to influence the behavior of others or the political or social authority exercised by a government, individuals or an institution. More and more young people are present in today's society. However those are easily influenced.
To what extent can we say that teens are easy preys in today's society ?
To answer this question, we will see firstly that teens are suggestible and secondly we will see that they change the society.
In the world, there is many dangerous products like alcohol, drug and cigarette. Nowadays, it becomes easy to get hold of that. Indeed, during party many teens are easily attract by alcohol for example…
Per consequently, when teens go on a binge, they can drink large quantities of alcohol in a short period of time this is called binge drinking. In origin, motivations are numerous : to do like the celebrities they admire, to resist the authority, to celebrate holidays and feel free... In addition, teens binge drink so that they may do more than their friends can do and so that they may show they are their own people.
Moreover, teens can be attracted by cigarettes. It’s enough to propose and many will say yes.
However, they not know consequences to smoking. They are several negatives effects. For example, cancer, many diseases, breathing problem, bad breath, and lung infections are caused by active smoking. Furthermore, passive smoking create too risks. Smokers risk bringing about asthma for children. Smokers run the risk of creating lung infections for children and smokers might cause addiction to nicotine.
That’s why, we should never touch cigarettes because we become addicted to her and she degrades our health. Finally, I will finish with this proverb : Alcohol abuse is bad for your health, please consume in moderation.
Merci d'avance !!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2015 11:42
Message de alsta posté le 30-04-2015 à 11:04:32 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je passe mon oral d'anglais dans moins d'un mois et j'aurais voulu que quelqu'un corrige mon texte (ce n'est qu'une partie) car on va dire que l'anglais n'est pas ma matière dominante.
Alors si quelqu'un a le courage de me corriger je lui en serais extrêmement reconnaissant.
In order to begin my presentation about seats and forms of power, it will be necessary for me to define what power means. In the dictionary, power refers to the ability to influence the behavior of others or the political or social authority exercised by a government, individuals or an institution. More and more young people are present in today's society. However those are easily influenced.
To what extent can we say that teens are easy preys in today's society ?
To answer this question, we will see firstly that teens are suggestible and secondly we will see that they change the society.
In the world, there is many dangerous products like alcohol, drug and cigarette. Nowadays, it becomes easy to get hold of that. Indeed, during party many teens are easily attract by alcohol for example…
Per consequently, when teens go on a binge, they can drink large quantities of alcohol in a short period of time this is called binge drinking. In origin, motivations are numerous : to do like the celebrities they admire, to resist the authority, to celebrate holidays and feel free... In addition, teens binge drink so that they may do more than their friends can do and so that they may show they are their own people.
Moreover, teens can be attracted by cigarettes. It’s enough to propose and many will say yes.
However, they not know consequences to smoking. They are several negatives effects. For example, cancer, many diseases, breathing problem, bad breath, and lung infections are caused by active smoking. Furthermore, passive smoking create too risks. Smokers risk bringing about asthma for children. Smokers run the risk of creating lung infections for children and smokers might cause addiction to nicotine.
That’s why, we should never touch cigarettes because we become addicted to her and she degrades our health. Finally, I will finish with this proverb : Alcohol abuse is bad for your health, please consume in moderation.
Merci d'avance !!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2015 11:42
Réponse: Oral/lieu et forme de pouvoir de alsta, postée le 01-05-2015 à 13:01:27 (S | E)
Personne
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-05-2015 13:13
Réponse: Oral/lieu et forme de pouvoir de anoukm06, postée le 08-05-2015 à 16:12:27 (S | E)
Hello ! Ton texte est bien, j'ai juste relevé quelques petites erreurs. Je suis aussi en terminale, S pour être précise, du coup je passe aussi mes oraux de langue. J’espère que je te le corrige pas trop tard ! Je t'ai écrit en bleu ma correction et j'ai barré ce que tu dois enlever
To answer this question, we will first see
In the world, there are
Indeed, during parties
However, they don't
There
breathing problems
Furthermore, passive smoking creates risks too
because we become addicted to them
Voila j’espère que ça t'as aidé
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